I wasn’t planning on sharing my birth story, but the world is filled with so many negative tales that frighten women. It might sound silly, but part of the reason I was unsure about having children was because I believed labour had to be traumatic. Prior to educating myself by hiring a doula, reading books on childbirth, listening to podcasts (highly recommend the Evidence Based Birth podcast) and practicing prenatal pilates (understanding the pelvic floor is key for delivery and recovery) I was terrified of labour. Truthfully, I still was even after doing all these things.
Having had a positive, empowering yet physically demanding labour and delivery, I want to share my perspective and some of the decisions I made leading up to the birth of my daughter, Edith. I believe some of these had a major impact on why my experience was positive. I should add, however, that I’m aware this isn’t the case for everyone regardless of how many dates they eat, how much they walk, and how many perineum massages they do. We all leave with our own birth stories and there are many outcomes far beyond our control. We are all entitled to our own experiences, and this is mine:
I first felt my contractions begin on Sunday night after a busy day spent shopping for Christmas garlands, visiting the garden centre, having lunch with Nick, and making gingerbread cookies (yes, on November 5th, no less). We were watching Home Alone 2 (it’s the best) when I started feeling mild contractions. To me, they felt similar to period cramps, but were approximately 15 minutes apart. From this point, we started tracking them and they remained pretty consistent all night when their intensity kicked up a notch. The next day, they were more irregular, but still moderately painful (little did I know…) They would stop for longer periods, so I was able to relax on the couch, drink raspberry leaf tea and bounce on my exercise ball. I knew it was important to sleep as much as possible before the real fun began. That night, they were still pretty inconsistent, but again, the pain kicked up a gear.
By Tuesday morning, I felt like things were happening. Nick and I went to my doctor’s appointment as per usual and told them I was in early labour. They checked my cervix and I was approximately 2.5cm dilated. At this point, I hadn’t felt baby’s regular movements and was a bit concerned, so they sent me across the street to the hospital for a NST (non-stress test). This took awhile (probably about three hours from signing into administration to getting my blood pressure taken and the NST itself. After some orange juice, I was able to feel enough kicks to assure me baby was okay. They checked my cervix again and I was almost 4cm dilated. At this point, I could have been admitted but there were no beds available and I felt like I could go for a walk, have some food, and labour at home a bit longer.
The doctor offered me morphine, but I felt like I could manage without. Apparently many women go into labour having decided on whether they want pain medication (even my prenatal class told us it was unusual to not feel strongly either way… but that’s another story). I personally felt as though I couldn’t possibly make that call having never experienced labour or childbirth before. That said, my birth values included not tearing and being able to move freely while labouring. I had the extensive support of my husband, Nick, our doula Allison, and the privilege and ability to educate myself on ways to increase the likelihood of these outcomes.
After a walk around the block and some food (slightly spicy panang curry) Nick drove us home. Here’s when the painful contractions really began. I felt them very consistently every few minutes and we managed by having me hunched over the bed, sitting on my exercise ball, Nick doing hip compressions, and by getting into the shower. I also laboured on the toilet and started feeling nauseous. After about an hour of this and some calls to Allison, we decided it was time to head back to the hospital. Unfortunately for us, it was rush hour traffic, so I laboured on all fours next to the car seat in the back of our small Honda Civic. Traffic was crawling, but we eventually made it, parked, had many more contractions between the car and the elevator and then while waiting for a delivery room (one still wasn’t available, but we were at an assessment bed and they checked my cervix again). I was now 7.5-8cm dilated and things were definitely progressing pretty quickly for a first-time labour. I could hear a lot of screaming down the hall, which frightened me a bit, but I kept breathing, moving around, and making low guttural, animal sounds as I had practiced. I was offered morphine again. I understood that this normally isn’t offered in active labour because it stays in your body for several hours and can have a prolonged effect on the baby. I declined as I felt as though my coping techniques were working (especially when not on my back as I had been briefly in the assessment bed).
Finally a labour and delivery room was ready for me, so we headed in to continue active labour even though my waters still hadn’t broken. With the privacy of a room, I laboured on the toilet and standing over the bed. The main lights were off, and the room was dim but warmly lit with side lamps. This masked the bright sterility often associated with hospitals and gave the room a quiet ambience in spite of the nausea I was feeling. I knew that gravity would work its course, so I reminded myself that continuing to stand up would keep baby moving. Eventually, my legs gave out. I am an active, fit individual, but labour is so physically demanding that I kept getting the shakes and chills. I had to lie on my side for awhile to ride out the intense contractions and shifted over to my back for each cervix check. The next one I was 9cm dilated and the medical team offered to break my waters. I obliged and shortly after felt compelled to get on all fours. The hospital had this peanut-shaped pillow where I rested my head. Nick continued to support me with massage and hip compressions. While on all fours, I was told the pushing stage was near. I should add that throughout active labour, I kept asking when it would be over. It felt like a marathon (except having almost completed a marathon, this was way harder…)
I remained on all fours for the rest of labour and throughout the pushing stage. Pushing can last up to four hours for first-time births, but thankfully I either didn’t know or remember that fact. At 10:30pm, Allison told me we’d have a baby before midnight. She revealed told me that she doesn’t ever like to say that because you never know how long it’ll take. However, since things were progressing so quickly, she felt confident we’d have our baby on 7/11. I’m so grateful she said that because it gave me the energy and strength to continue. I was in such good spirits that I started joking about having a 7/11 baby and dressing her up as a slurpee for her first Halloween. The doctors joked that she should get free slurpees on her birthday every year. I told them how excited I was for my daughter to be born on November 7th because my mom LOVES prime numbers. Her three daughters were each born on prime number dates and our names spell SEVEN without the E’s (Stephanie, Vanessa, Natalie). You might know by now that we called our daughter Edith (a family name on my mom’s side) and her initial completes the SEVEN. They asked whether she’s a mathematician lol (she was a math teacher). There’s a photo of me laughing at the ridiculousness of it all and it brings me so much joy.
Since I didn’t have any pain medication, I was able to feel everything and ensure I was taking breaks between pushing and allowing things to stretch gradually to move Edie down safely and slowly with each push. I reminded myself that I did not want to tear and baby would come out through slow, concentrated pushing, there was no need to rush. Many OBs who encourage mothers to push and deliver on their back aren’t trained to know why this is detrimental to the mother and often causes tearing. While I would have loved the comfort of an epidural, Allison had told me that even a walking epidural makes it hard to stand up and move around. Delivering on one’s back rather than allowing the force of gravity to assist in delivery can further increase tearing. I was asked again whether I wanted to flip over to deliver and I politely said no.
It is miraculous knowing that your body will do what it’s supposed to, it will tell you when to push and for how long. Doulas call this, “feeling pushy”. I knew when to take breaks and when to push. While this felt like an eternity, I pushed Edie out on all fours within 45 minutes after having my waters broken. She came under my torso and up near my face and I quickly, finally turned over onto my back to hold her against my chest. I looked over at Nick and he was crying tears of joy. In awe of our daughter, we were able to soak in those first few moments as a family. We were speechless, elated, and overcome with gratitude that our little girl had arrived, safe and healthy at 7 minutes past 11:00 pm on the 7th of the 11th.
Thank you to Nick and Allison for filling in the gaps on my birth story. As you can imagine, labour and delivery requires 100% focus, so much of it is a complete blur to me.
prairie girl musings 