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My Birth Story

I wasn’t planning on sharing my birth story, but the world is filled with so many negative tales that frighten women. It might sound silly, but part of the reason I was unsure about having children was because I believed labour had to be traumatic. Prior to educating myself by hiring a doula, reading books on childbirth, listening to podcasts (highly recommend the Evidence Based Birth podcast) and practicing prenatal pilates (understanding the pelvic floor is key for delivery and recovery) I was terrified of labour. Truthfully, I still was even after doing all these things.

Having had a positive, empowering yet physically demanding labour and delivery, I want to share my perspective and some of the decisions I made leading up to the birth of my daughter, Edith. I believe some of these had a major impact on why my experience was positive. I should add, however, that I’m aware this isn’t the case for everyone regardless of how many dates they eat, how much they walk, and how many perineum massages they do. We all leave with our own birth stories and there are many outcomes far beyond our control. We are all entitled to our own experiences, and this is mine:

I first felt my contractions begin on Sunday night after a busy day spent shopping for Christmas garlands, visiting the garden centre, having lunch with Nick, and making gingerbread cookies (yes, on November 5th, no less). We were watching Home Alone 2 (it’s the best) when I started feeling mild contractions. To me, they felt similar to period cramps, but were approximately 15 minutes apart. From this point, we started tracking them and they remained pretty consistent all night when their intensity kicked up a notch. The next day, they were more irregular, but still moderately painful (little did I know…) They would stop for longer periods, so I was able to relax on the couch, drink raspberry leaf tea and bounce on my exercise ball. I knew it was important to sleep as much as possible before the real fun began. That night, they were still pretty inconsistent, but again, the pain kicked up a gear.

By Tuesday morning, I felt like things were happening. Nick and I went to my doctor’s appointment as per usual and told them I was in early labour. They checked my cervix and I was approximately 2.5cm dilated. At this point, I hadn’t felt baby’s regular movements and was a bit concerned, so they sent me across the street to the hospital for a NST (non-stress test). This took awhile (probably about three hours from signing into administration to getting my blood pressure taken and the NST itself. After some orange juice, I was able to feel enough kicks to assure me baby was okay. They checked my cervix again and I was almost 4cm dilated. At this point, I could have been admitted but there were no beds available and I felt like I could go for a walk, have some food, and labour at home a bit longer.

The doctor offered me morphine, but I felt like I could manage without. Apparently many women go into labour having decided on whether they want pain medication (even my prenatal class told us it was unusual to not feel strongly either way… but that’s another story). I personally felt as though I couldn’t possibly make that call having never experienced labour or childbirth before. That said, my birth values included not tearing and being able to move freely while labouring. I had the extensive support of my husband, Nick, our doula Allison, and the privilege and ability to educate myself on ways to increase the likelihood of these outcomes.

After a walk around the block and some food (slightly spicy panang curry) Nick drove us home. Here’s when the painful contractions really began. I felt them very consistently every few minutes and we managed by having me hunched over the bed, sitting on my exercise ball, Nick doing hip compressions, and by getting into the shower. I also laboured on the toilet and started feeling nauseous. After about an hour of this and some calls to Allison, we decided it was time to head back to the hospital. Unfortunately for us, it was rush hour traffic, so I laboured on all fours next to the car seat in the back of our small Honda Civic. Traffic was crawling, but we eventually made it, parked, had many more contractions between the car and the elevator and then while waiting for a delivery room (one still wasn’t available, but we were at an assessment bed and they checked my cervix again). I was now 7.5-8cm dilated and things were definitely progressing pretty quickly for a first-time labour. I could hear a lot of screaming down the hall, which frightened me a bit, but I kept breathing, moving around, and making low guttural, animal sounds as I had practiced. I was offered morphine again. I understood that this normally isn’t offered in active labour because it stays in your body for several hours and can have a prolonged effect on the baby. I declined as I felt as though my coping techniques were working (especially when not on my back as I had been briefly in the assessment bed).

Finally a labour and delivery room was ready for me, so we headed in to continue active labour even though my waters still hadn’t broken. With the privacy of a room, I laboured on the toilet and standing over the bed. The main lights were off, and the room was dim but warmly lit with side lamps. This masked the bright sterility often associated with hospitals and gave the room a quiet ambience in spite of the nausea I was feeling. I knew that gravity would work its course, so I reminded myself that continuing to stand up would keep baby moving. Eventually, my legs gave out. I am an active, fit individual, but labour is so physically demanding that I kept getting the shakes and chills. I had to lie on my side for awhile to ride out the intense contractions and shifted over to my back for each cervix check. The next one I was 9cm dilated and the medical team offered to break my waters. I obliged and shortly after felt compelled to get on all fours. The hospital had this peanut-shaped pillow where I rested my head. Nick continued to support me with massage and hip compressions. While on all fours, I was told the pushing stage was near. I should add that throughout active labour, I kept asking when it would be over. It felt like a marathon (except having almost completed a marathon, this was way harder…)

I remained on all fours for the rest of labour and throughout the pushing stage. Pushing can last up to four hours for first-time births, but thankfully I either didn’t know or remember that fact. At 10:30pm, Allison told me we’d have a baby before midnight. She revealed told me that she doesn’t ever like to say that because you never know how long it’ll take. However, since things were progressing so quickly, she felt confident we’d have our baby on 7/11. I’m so grateful she said that because it gave me the energy and strength to continue. I was in such good spirits that I started joking about having a 7/11 baby and dressing her up as a slurpee for her first Halloween. The doctors joked that she should get free slurpees on her birthday every year. I told them how excited I was for my daughter to be born on November 7th because my mom LOVES prime numbers. Her three daughters were each born on prime number dates and our names spell SEVEN without the E’s (Stephanie, Vanessa, Natalie). You might know by now that we called our daughter Edith (a family name on my mom’s side) and her initial completes the SEVEN. They asked whether she’s a mathematician lol (she was a math teacher). There’s a photo of me laughing at the ridiculousness of it all and it brings me so much joy.

Since I didn’t have any pain medication, I was able to feel everything and ensure I was taking breaks between pushing and allowing things to stretch gradually to move Edie down safely and slowly with each push. I reminded myself that I did not want to tear and baby would come out through slow, concentrated pushing, there was no need to rush. Many OBs who encourage mothers to push and deliver on their back aren’t trained to know why this is detrimental to the mother and often causes tearing. While I would have loved the comfort of an epidural, Allison had told me that even a walking epidural makes it hard to stand up and move around. Delivering on one’s back rather than allowing the force of gravity to assist in delivery can further increase tearing. I was asked again whether I wanted to flip over to deliver and I politely said no.

It is miraculous knowing that your body will do what it’s supposed to, it will tell you when to push and for how long. Doulas call this, “feeling pushy”. I knew when to take breaks and when to push. While this felt like an eternity, I pushed Edie out on all fours within 45 minutes after having my waters broken. She came under my torso and up near my face and I quickly, finally turned over onto my back to hold her against my chest. I looked over at Nick and he was crying tears of joy. In awe of our daughter, we were able to soak in those first few moments as a family. We were speechless, elated, and overcome with gratitude that our little girl had arrived, safe and healthy at 7 minutes past 11:00 pm on the 7th of the 11th.

Thank you to Nick and Allison for filling in the gaps on my birth story. As you can imagine, labour and delivery requires 100% focus, so much of it is a complete blur to me.

November 22, 2023
On Trusting My Body Again

It’s been awhile since I’ve updated the blog and there’s been a lot a change since my last post. We cancelled our IUI cycle halfway through (my follicles weren’t responding to the injections) and dove headfirst into IVF. Without getting into too much detail, I found IVF incredibly draining and we ultimately decided we’d give ourselves two rounds. Miraculously after two mostly unsuccessful rounds, I became pregnant with our second and last embryo. As I write this post, I’m almost 39 weeks pregnant and on maternity leave. While I haven’t been regularly updating the blog, I have been journaling as a means of processing all the emotions that come with pregnancy after infertility. I wanted to share an excerpt from one of my journal entries as maybe some of you can relate:

One thing this pregnancy has given me is the ability to trust my body again.

Learning about and living with a genetic disorder, I became disillusioned with my body from a young age. It’s a complicated feeling not trusting your body to carry out the biological tasks it’s supposed to without assistance. I wore a deep rooted shame throughout my teenage and adult years; knowing I would never have children without medical intervention. In some ways, I believed my inability to conceive made me less of woman. Of course, the rational side of my brain knows this isn’t true, but growing up, it was incredibly difficult to feel ‘normal’ knowing my biological limitations. I eventually came to terms with my condition and got to a place where I could celebrate everything my body did for me. I was a competitive dancer and throwing myself into dance helped me appreciate my body and the ways I was different.

Once I became pregnant, despite the immense joy and surprise I felt, I feared whether my body would be able to carry out this task. The anxieties I experienced during the first trimester often felt unbearable. Could I carry this baby to term? Would it abandon me during this most critical period? I was riddled with constant anxiety up until I started feeling regular kicks and movement. Given my history, I told my family about my pregnancy very early on, but with the caveat that I might miscarry or something would turn up on our NIPT. I broke down when our IVF clinic told me they couldn’t do genetic testing on our embryos and I didn’t purchase anything for the baby until almost my third trimester when I finally felt like I could relax a bit.

Despite these psychological challenges, pregnancy has been deeply healing for me. I went into IVF hopeful, but without the expectation it would work or that we’d end up with a baby. I mentally prepared myself for every scan and every appointment, knowing nothing was guaranteed except the inconceivably high price tag for every round of medication and treatment. I approached both cycles with the same caution I’d approached previous medical challenges. It was empowering knowing I could live a full life with or without children. I have so much respect for anyone who chooses, or who has the choice made for them, to live a childfree life. And those who become adoptive or foster parents.

I have never cried as much as I did when I got the first call from my IVF clinic letting us know our second transfer was successful. Not to sound dramatic, but it felt like decades of trauma leaving my body. It was one of the best days of my life. I felt an immense sense of gratitude towards my body; for all it had been through and for everything we were about to experience. While we know there will be future challenges, I was able to breathe a little easier. Becoming pregnant was something I never fully believed would be possible for me.

While I haven’t loved every day of this pregnancy, I’m forever in awe of what my body has achieved. With each passing week, as my bump has grown bigger and my baby’s kicks have become stronger, I’ve never felt more proud of my body.

November 3, 2023
Fertility Update

It’s been almost two years since I shared a fertility update. Truthfully, I worry about “oversharing” because I am generally a pretty private person, but I made a promise to be more intentional about what I post on social media. We all need community and connection, regardless of what we’re going through. I also believe that keeping (what we perceive as) our flaws private, we’re only contributing to a narrative of stigma and shame.

If you missed my original post, I wrote about how our decision whether or not to have a baby (I avoid saying, “start a family” because we are already a family, Nick and I…) was heavily influenced by infertility. This post was one of my most read posts and I received hundreds of messages and DMs from women (and men) who were experiencing infertility and felt like they had nobody to turn to. It’s not something many of us feel comfortable talking about, but since penning that post, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and the complexity of my situation feels less overwhelming.

In an attempt to better understand my body and options, I made another appointment with a specialist. These appointments helped shed light on my medical history and empowered us to consider our options. We ultimately decided to start on fertility medication. Unlike the medication I was taking in my early twenties (which was a form of birth control) this was specifically designed to improve the likelihood of getting pregnant. We’ve recently decided to take it one step further and begin IUI, a (slightly) more affordable fertility treatment than IVF.

With everything going on in the world, I do feel guilty spending so much time and resources trying to get pregnant. The logical side of my brain can’t even imagine raising a child in the current climate, but I owe it to younger me to explore my options. I’ve always gravitated towards children; initially enrolling to study child education and then speech language pathology at university. I envisioned myself working with children some capacity and temporarily worked at a daycare when I first moved to New Zealand.

Whether you have decided against having children, are currently undergoing fertility treatments (it takes such an emotional, physical and financial toll…) or you are still deciding, know there is no wrong decision. Whether Nick and I end up with a baby or we remain childfree, I know we’ll be more than okay and will continue to live fulfilling, wonderful lives. We’re fortunate to live in a world full of options with incredible medical advancements and opportunities; understanding the nuances of my situation has been powerful.

If you or someone you love is experiencing infertility or pregnancy loss, my heart goes out to you. My DMs are always open and I cherish every connection I’ve made since opening up. Internet culture continues to perpetuate toxic highlight reels. It’s a cycle that encourages us to only post our wins, leaving many of us feeling more alone than ever. I hope that, in some small way, reading this post has made you feel less alone.

Disclaimer: We all know I’m not a doctor and I can only speak to my personal experience.

June 23, 2022
9 Must-Vist Vancouver Cafés

If you’ve ever been to Vancouver, you’ll know it’s one of the most picturesque cities in the world. For a coastal city with such an active and outdoorsy reputation, many people are surprised to learn that its food scene is equally impressive. Even prior to moving here, I spent many visits exploring the diverse culinary scene and find myself regularly discovering new spots.

Today, I want to highlight the coffee spots currently on my radar. We were absolutely spoiled by New Zealand’s café culture, so I was a little worried about acclimatizing to Canadian coffee, but it’s not all Tim Hortons. There are some incredible people doing incredible things with coffee (and pastries) right here in Vancouver. These are a few spots worth checking out, but it’s by no means an exhaustive list:

Their There:
This Kitsilano spot tops many lists as a favourite café in Vancouver. Not only is the coffee excellent, the food is ridiculously good. If you’re there for breakfast, be sure to get one of their breakfast sammies (brioche bun, folded scrambled egg, hundy sauce, sprouts and bacon, sausage or a veggie option). Served with a side of tater tots and kewpie mayo. Their mochi doughnuts are unreal with the most delicious squishy texture. Their There has managed to adapt to the ever-changing restrictions and there’s usually a line out the door.

Nemesis Coffee:
I first discovered Nemesis a few years back when visiting Vancouver with my sister and two local friends. We ventured to the Gastown location for kombucha (it was later in the day and I was already quite caffeinated) but I remember eyeing up the stunning interior and cabinets filled with pimped out croissants and cruffins. I vowed to return to try the coffee (verdict: it’s superb) and a treat. Having been back several times since, you’ll understand why I was thrilled to hear of their upcoming THIRD location on Great Northern Way, not far from my apartment. You can count on me to be there sipping their pour over every other day. Oh, and it’s an awesome spot to pick up beans if you like to make coffee at home.

Marché Mon Pitou:
Relatively new on the scene, Mon Pitou is arguably Vancouver’s most beautiful café. It feels like a slice of Paris in South Granville. The flat white here is made exactly how I like it; strong but not bitter. (I like to taste my coffee, ya know?) The vibes are immaculate, the food and baked goods are perfect and the service is always friendly. If you’re looking for a nice brunch spot with great coffee, look no further.

Timbertrain:
It seems like a lot of “best of” lists forget about Timbertrain and I’m not sure why. Another favourite of mine, it is an essential Gastown spot with the BEST almond croissants and cortados in the city. Order a cortado or an iced latte to start your day

Elysian Coffee Roasters:
Elysian has multiple locations scattered throughout the downtown core, but my local is on the leafy intersection of 7th and Ontario in Mount Pleasant. I first visited this spot with my sister and her partner after they claimed it to have the best filter coffee in Vancouver. I usually order a filter and a croissant when I visit and can’t wait for the day that I can once again sit in and people watch.

Matchstick Coffee Roasters:
Again, Matchstick has a few locations throughout Vancouver, but I frequent the Fraser Street one because it’s only a short walk from my house. Nick and I both really enjoy Matchstick beans and it’s typically our go-to whenever we realize our supply is low. Their pain au chocolat has to be the best I’ve had so far in Vancouver and their chocolate chip cookie is equally divine. The best part is that when you buy espresso beans, your coffee is discounted, so you can be doubly caffeinated.

Liberty Coffee:
You’ll notice that most of the cafés I’ve recommended excel in the pastry department in addition to the caffeine department and Liberty is no exception. Located on Main Street, this spot is always teeming with regulars ordering warm beverages and fresh baked goods. Their cardamon buns are well worth a try and the interior reminds me of the cafés I visited in Stockholm and Copenhagen.

Small Victory:
Whenever I walk past Small Victory in Yaletown, I can’t resist stopping in. Here you’ll find some of the best pastries in the city plus an all-day menu and thoughtfully prepared coffee in an open loft-like space.

Revolver:
No Vancouver coffee crawl is complete without a visit to Revolver. It was the first Vancouver coffee shop on my radar because it’s Australian-owned and has been for as long as I can remember (well, 2011). Its name refers to the revolving selection of roasters including Bows & Arrows, Proud Mary and Luna. It’s a go-to of mine for stocking up on espresso for this very reason, but I haven’t ordered a coffee from him for awhile, but they do have an alleyway set-up currently, so you can easily grab and go.

What are your favourite coffee shops in Vancouver? I’d love to know which ones I need to visit.

April 4, 2021
An overdue Vancouver update

Well, hello there. What’s been happening with you all?

It’s been ages since I last sat down to type out a blog post. If I’m completely honest, I haven’t had the mental capacity to dedicate to this small corner of the internet. Between moving to Vancouver, finding an apartment, starting a new job (more on that shortly!) and navigating a global pandemic, I have seriously neglected Prairie Girl Musings, but I finally feel ready to tackle the (metaphorical) blank page.

It’s been difficult leaving behind New Zealand for a multitude of reasons. We miss our friends and family and the freedom with which we were able to navigate life; not only in the obvious Covid-sense, but also more generally. I was talking to a friend (whom I met in Christchurch, but now lives in Vancouver as well) and she was saying that despite having lived in the UK, Australia, New Zealand and now Canada, New Zealand is the place that has stayed with her. It seems to have that effect on people.

On the job front, I’ve now been working at a Vancouver agency (AntiSocial Solutions) for about five weeks and finally feel like I’m in the swing of things. After over two years of being my own boss, it feels almost foreign to work alongside a team of strategists, copywriters and designers. My colleagues are all incredibly talented and I’ve already learnt so much from them. As much as I loved being my own boss, I often felt a bit aimless in New Zealand and I’m grateful to have a renewed sense of purpose and belonging. Even though we’re primarily working remotely, it feels nice to have other people to bounce ideas off and regular brainstorming sessions. While I’ve always assumed that I work best on my own, I’ve come to realize how important it is to surround yourself with ambitious, likeminded people. There’s something so reassuring about having a whole team behind you. While the structure and regularity are a welcome relief during these turbulent times, I do miss the spontaneous weekday cocktails and long lunches with my fellow freelancing friends.

Nick has also been navigating his new normal working for a boutique transport consultancy. He’s been learning all about the transport system here in Vancouver (let’s just say, it’s a much bigger beast than that of Christchurch…) I’m really proud of how he’s taking on this new challenge and absolutely run with it. Together, we’ve reconnected with a few Toronto and Saskatchewan pals, gone on some local hikes and we’re gearing up for what will hopefully be a great ski season at Whistler. Truthfully, life feels a bit smaller amidst the ongoing pandemic, so we’re practicing gratitude and savouring the slower moments at home. We know that there are plenty of challenges that lay ahead, but we’re taking things one day at a time.

What are you looking forward to as we head towards the end of the year?

Photos by John Yoo

October 28, 2020
We moved back to Canada (during a pandemic!)

Well, it’s been over a month since I shared an update with you all. In between packing up our home, throwing Nick a surprise 30th birthday, finishing up work projects, and moving continents, life has been hectic.

As you’d expect, travelling home was mildly stressful. We wore masks for the entirety of three flights and layovers with the exception of meal breaks during our long haul to Auckland to Los Angeles. After having not worn masks in New Zealand (they were not required during the first outbreak) it was a slight adjustment. It took us three days to get back to Saskatchewan as flight options are understandably very limited right now. We overnighted near LAX and it was a ghost town due to safe-at-home orders.

After landing at the Regina airport,, we drove ourselves to the family cabin at Crystal Lake for our 14-day quarantine. Fortunately, neither of us got sick and we ended up having the most relaxing time. The weather was BEAUTIFUL, so we made the most of it. We did TRX workouts on the deck, made cocktails and applied for jobs (more on that later…) It was the break we didn’t know we needed.

After quarantining, we drove home to Yorkton to spend a few weeks with my family. My sister, Stephanie and her partner, Mark were home (from Saskatoon) for the long weekend, so it was the first time we were all together in over a year. I hadn’t felt so at ease in forever — the anxiety and stress of moving countries dissipated as I hugged my family, soaked up the endless sunshine and 9pm sunsets. We ate all my favourite meals, watched Hamilton outside on the projector, and enjoyed each other’s company. As cliché as it sounds, there’s nothing quite like a pandemic to make you realize what’s important in life. With everything going on this year, I had my doubts about the added burden of relocating. As it turns out, returning home and being close to family feels like the right decision.

The three weeks zoomed by and we soon found ourselves packing up (not that we had much to pack up) and moving to Vancouver. First, we stopped in Saskatoon and Nicole Buhler captured some sunny imagery of the six of us (eight, if you count Loki and Poet!) My parents were tied up with work and unable to take the time off, so we’ll have to get full family photos at Christmas or as soon as our littlest family member arrives (I CAN’T wait to be an auntie!)

I also caught up with some pals and relatives for physically distant catch ups in Saskatoon, Calgary and Kelowna. The scenic drive across Alberta to British Columbia was good for the soul. I don’t think I’ve ever truly appreciated just how stunning (and vast) our country is before. Having previously lived in Toronto and explored the Maritimes, there’s plenty I haven’t yet seen out west. We were amazed by how similar the landscape in Lake Country (Okanagan) is to Queenstown. Soon after, we arrived in Vancouver to settle in and find a more permanent home. It’s been a whirlwind so far, but we’re thrilled to be here.

As we settle into our new rhythm here in Vancouver, I’ll be sharing more about apartment hunting, furnishing our new place, and our experience WFH. If you ever want to chat, my comments section and DMs are always open.

September 1, 2020
West Coast Adventures with Reefton Distilling Co.

I recently spent a few days in Reefton, one of my favourite West Coast towns (and arguably its most charming!) It was my final road trip with my dear friend, Nancy and we had exciting plans to visit Reefton Distilling Co., home to New Zealand’s best gin, Little Biddy Gin.

I first discovered Reefton Distilling Co. during a quick stop in Reefton on our way to a friend’s bach in Hector. The distillery itself is stunning, housed in one of Reefton’s original buildings dating all the way back to the 1800s. It originally served as a general store that distilled vinegar. The team even found an old glass gin bottle under the floorboards while restoring the building prior to opening the modern distillery.

While Nancy took photos, I chatted to the team about the company’s brief, but impressive history. I loved speaking with Patsy Bass, the distillery’s founder who was born and raised in Reefton. She returned home to open the distillery, in the hopes of creating jobs and bringing people to the area. Patsy has a remarkable vision for the future and plans for the distillery that extend well beyond her lifetime. Her love for her hometown is contagious and I felt emotional hearing about her plans for expansion. We even had a sneak peek at the new premises, which is across from the old railway station on the outskirts of town. The impressive site will certainly be a destination in its own right and I can already envision a return trip.

The distillery has always belonged to the people of Reefton and many residents own shares in the company. Locals speak about the distillery proudly, with a sense of ownership. We stopped in for lunch at Reef Cottage and the cafe owner immediately asked us if we were heading to their distillery. It was heartwarming to see locals backing this new venture (Reefton Distilling Co. is only 21 months old) and everything it has done for their community.

Formerly a mining town, Reefton was heavily reliant on gold and coal. Thanks to the creativity of people like Patsy, the town has been revitalised and Kiwis have a new reason to visit this historic destination. For a town that’s nearly 150 years old, Reefton has aged well and continues to draw crowds from across New Zealand.

If you haven’t tried Little Biddy gin, you must. It’s been crafted in honour of West Coast legend, Bridget ‘Biddy’ Goodwin. She was a well-known, pipe-smoking, gin-toting, 4-foot tall gold prospector who had escaped her abusive husband in Ireland and spent her final 18 years in Reefton. The team’s hunt for native botanicals often takes them deep into the West Coast rainforest where Biddy once fossicked for gold. It’s the most popular offering at Reefton Distilling Co. and its flavour is truly reflective of the Coast. Botanicals including watercress, snow moss, rimu, horopito, and tarata (to name just a few) are foraged on the surrounding hills and give the gin its distinct West Coast flavour.

Speaking of foraging, Nancy and I were treated to an excursion with both the Reefton Distilling Co. team and Brand Ambassadors, Nigel and Steffan MacKay. The MacKay twins are known throughout the region and possess a wealth of local knowledge in regards to both Reefton’s history and water sources. Now 72, they grew up in the bush, still head out walking every day, and continue to prospect water sources for the distillery. While we were in the bush, they talked about their collection of whisky vessels, which they believe is the largest collection in Australasia. Customers will soon be able to pre-order their new Moonlight Creek Whisky with the first batch getting closer to being put down. Some of the MacKay Twins’ collection of vessels are on display at the distillery.

During our time in Reefton, we stayed at Cowshed 488 in Totara Flat. If you live in New Zealand’s South Island, you’ve likely seen photos of this stunning property on Instagram. Located about 20 minutes out of Reefton, Cowshed is the perfect escape for families or friends. Situated on a dairy farm and across from the stunning Paparoa mountains, this rural retreat is home to a variety of bird and cow life. The gorgeously styled home has three bedrooms, a spacious kitchen and beautiful lounge for relaxing or entertaining. Every detail has been carefully considered and it’s the kind of home you’d see in an interior magazine or blog. The owners, Georgina and Steve left us a basket full of local food to enjoy during our stay and we instantly felt at home.

Reefton is an age-old town steeped in history and character. To witness its transformation is a remarkable experience and I’ll cherish my visit for years to come. From getting to know the locals to foraging with the MacKay twins, it was a New Zealand adventure I won’t ever forget. Luckily, I have a bottle of Little Biddy Gin tucked away in my suitcase to remind me of this truly special place and the people who call it home.

Photography by Nancy Zhou. You can find more of her work here.

This post is in partnership with Reefton Distilling Co., but all opinions are my own.

July 23, 2020
A Nautical 30th Birthday Party for Captain Nick

If you’ve ever met Nick, you’ll know he’s always wanted to buy a boat. In fact, the only item he’s ever saved to his TradeMe watchlist is a yacht. He’s been part of sailing clubs in both Toronto and Christchurch, so I suppose it’s more than just a phase…

To be fair, I’m also partial to a boat party. Over the years, we’ve celebrated university balls and press trips on the harbour and I love a unique venue that provides ever-changing views. After all, a glass of rosé is even better when paired with a nice view.

With his 30th birthday on the horizon, I figured I’d plan a surprise party on a Lyttelton charter. I’ve never thrown a surprise party before and figured the weekend before we moved countries would be the perfect opportunity (lol). Props to anyone who does this on a regular basis as it’s no easy feat.

I invited our friends and family from across New Zealand and they all made sure to keep it a secret. Nick’s parents, John and Penny, his sister, Cat and her partner, Blake all flew down to surprise Nick the day before and the surprises just kept coming!

I have previously been on two Black Cat cruises (both in Akaroa) and the experiences were fantastic (save for some seasickness on my part) so I organised an afternoon outing and thankfully, the weather played ball. We had beautiful blue skies and the water was so still. We sailed around Banks Peninsula and took in the spectacular views of Camp Bay where our friends Nancy and Joris got married.

For food, I hired Samantha Parish from MOF MOF, a talented Chrischurch food stylist, chef and recipe writer. Sam made us the most beautiful (and delicious) platter that everyone commented on and quickly devoured. Jamie from The Cake Eating Company made mini cakes in a variety of flavours for the guests and they were absolutely delightful.

My friend, Hannah from Hannah Bird Photography took photos to commemorate the day and it’s one we’ll look back on fondly. We are so grateful to all our friends and family members who celebrated Nick’s 30th in addition to bidding us goodbye. Sailing away into the sunset was perfectly fitting, not only for Nick’s 30th, but as a bon voyage to our time in Christchurch.

July 17, 2020
Taking time out with Total Body Concept this winter (plus a giveaway!)

If you’re anything like me, self-care and setting aside time for yourself has fallen to the bottom of your never-ending to-do list. We’re over halfway through 2020 and I’ve been meaning to book myself in for a facial since January…

My Skincare History
I booked in for my first treatment at Total Body Concept in 2015, shortly after moving to Christchurch from Toronto. My skin was out of whack; struggling to adjust to the different climate (going from autumn to spring is confusing on many levels). My stress levels were higher than normal as I navigated a new city and looked for a job. After my initial consultation, I had my first ever mandelic acid peel and the results were transformative. I adopted a more consistent skincare regime and invested in a few serums, I’m a fan of the Ultraceuticals Ultra Clear Treatment Lotion. Pre-wedding, I kicked my skincare routine up a notch, returning for regular treatments to get my skin glowing on the day. It’s funny how we need a major life event to justify spending money on ourselves.

While I developed a slight skincare obsession during lockdown (surely I’m not alone here…) I can’t remember the last time I had a facial. With our return to Canada, I decided to sneak in one last treatment at Total Body Concept before our flight. There’s nothing like a preflight facial to get your skin in tip top shape.

Skin Consultation
My visit started with a skin consultation, where the team analysed my skin and specific problem areas so they can recommend the best course of action. I’ve had a handful of skin consultations in the past, but our skin can change with the seasons, stress, hormones, etc. so regular check-ins are a good idea. Debbie and the team then recommended I try their new Laser Genesis treatment followed by a luxurious hyaluronic facial with the incredible Annie.

Cutera Laser Genesis ($200)
Often referred to as the Hollywood Facial because celebrities swear by it, Cutera Laser Genesis is a highly effective, non-invasive skin treatment that diminishes acne scars and builds collagen. Basically, it stimulates the skin’s natural processes by remodelling collagen to improve the appearance of fine lines, wrinkles and skin texture. In addition to treating conditions associated with ageing and sun damage, it’s great for targeting blemishes and uneven skin tones (two of my biggest concerns). Using a laser light to target the layer of skin where collagen is produced, small areas of the skin are heated to 41-44 degrees to stimulate new collagen formation. It felt like I was lying on a beach in Fiji, such a nice escape from Christchurch’s dreary weather.

Hyaluronic Smooth & Fill Facial ($195)
Next I had the Hyaluronic Smooth & Fill Facial, which is another anti-ageing and blissful hour-long treatment. Hyaluronic acid is naturally found in our bodies, but depletes as we get older. Our joints, skin and cells all benefit from its hydrating effects and it’s equally good at healing our skin after laser treatments or peels.

Immediately after the treatments, my skin looked plump and glowing. I was also so relaxed that I fell asleep during the hyaluronic facial and hand massage. The next day, I woke up and my skin looked even healthier. This treatment is perfect the day before an important event or celebration. It’s one I would’ve loved to have before getting married.

…and now for the giveaway!
With everything going on this year, many of us have neglected our regular self-care routines. The team at Total Body Concept understands how difficult it can be to find time for treatments and have generously offered a FREE Wellness Retreat Spa Package to one of my followers.

The two-hour long package is valued at $255 starts with a purifying shower and 30 minute infrared sauna, followed by herbal tea and bubbles in TBC’s private retreat room. You’ll then receive an hour long luxury facial and facial massage, microdermabrasion, ultra sonophoresis, Vitamin C infusion treatment before heading home with two free Ultraceuticals experience size products (includes SPF and one active).

If setting aside time and money to look after yourself is something you’d like to prioritse, I’d love to hear from you. Leave me a comment on this blog post, sharing what self care looks like to you or one of the ways you plan to look after yourself this year. You can also leave a comment on this Instagram post for a second entry. Make sure you’re following both @totalbodyconceptnz and @vanessaortynsky to be considered. The winner will be announced on Thursday, 9th July.

Finding time for self-care in whatever form can be challenging, but it’s immensely rewarding when we do.

This post is in partnership with Total Body Concept, but all opinions are my own.

July 2, 2020
On Knowing Your Value As A Content Creator

Navigating the marketing landscape has always been tricky, but increasingly so in an economic downturn. Recently, I had an experience that forced me to question my usual approach as a content creator. A new business (one that I would LOVE to support and share with my community) reached out with an offer in exchange for a blog post and some social media promotion.

Let me be clear, putting together a blog post is A LOT of work. It requires research, creativity, an interesting angle, quality photography, editing and finally, promotion. Many writers spend years at university, going on to work as editorial interns and assistants before landing their first full-time jobs. We have dedicated years of our lives to honing our craft and it’s disheartening that it can be undermined on a regular basis. Blogging is a space that has waned in popularity over the years, but something I’ve stuck with as a writer. After all, this space allows me connect with you all on a deeper level.

I wouldn’t typically agree to do a blog post in exchange for a gifted product, service or stay instead I would do one on my own accord if I loved the experience and felt like you all needed to know about it. That said, Prairie Girl Musings is also about highlighting what’s new and noteworthy throughout New Zealand and beyond. I spend a lot of my hard-earned money on flights, accommodation, new restaurants and products so that I can be a well-researched resource and go-to person for recommendations. I’m aware that it’s a privilege to be able to work in this industry and it’s something I don’t take for granted.

Christchurch has been through a lot, launching a new business pre-Covid was already a gamble. It goes without saying that there is likely a lot of anxiety and stress behind launching now with international markets essentially at a standstill. That said, content creators, sole traders, influencers, photographers, etc. are all in a similar position. We have bills to pay and need to put food on the table. If we don’t value our work, we devalue the entire industry. When we work for free, someone else misses out on a paid opportunity. Nobody should ever work for free.

Having been in this industry for awhile, I’ve seen it all and learnt from it all. Hopefully my experience can help those who are trying to navigate the ins and outs of this new (and often complex) industry. Whether you’re a content creator or a new business, the following tips might help you understand how these partnerships play out as well as any red flags to watch out for when working with a business or content creator.

I’ve also discussed this topic with a few content creators throughout New Zealand and Canada to make this a bit more objective, so I hope you enjoy our collective thoughts:

Always read the fine print
If a brand takes the time to put together a contract, make sure you take the time to read it carefully. The number of times I’ve quickly glossed over a contract without considering the repercussions is concerning. Some contracts ask you to sign your life away, so watch out for photo usage rights (you should always charge for this). Remember, you can put together your own T&Cs for the brand to sign. A contract needs to work for both parties.

Negotiate as much as you can
Do not settle for anything less than what you’re worth! If they can’t respect that, they’re probably not a brand who deserves your content. Every time a creator says yes to free work, it impacts everyone in the industry and devalues our services.

Education is everything
Give brands the benefit of the doubt, especially if they are new. View it as an opportunity to show them how this all works and that they can’t take advantage of you or other creators. Some brands will acknowledge their wrongdoings, others will try to undermine you or make you feel bad for not offering your services for free. Don’t work with these people.

Consider who else the brand has worked with
Take a look at the brand’s values and ask yourself whether they align with your own. Is the brand inclusive? Do they promote and uphold diversity in the workplace? If they are only hiring thin, white content creators that is at the expense of BIPOC creators. If they aren’t working hard to seek out a range of creators of different sizes and skin tones, that should be a dealbreaker.

Any brand that launches has to factor in marketing spend
Fact of the matter is that any new business needs to account for marketing spend. If they’ve approached you and asked you to work for free, they are wasting your time and failing to acknowledge the hard work you put into what you do. Free services don’t pay the bills in an economic crisis (or ever…)

Be wary of manipulation
I always try to give people the benefit of doubt especially if they are new to this industry. That said, it’s clear when one party is trying to take advantage of the other party. As I mentioned, Christchurch businesses have been through a lot over the past decade. Only the truly exceptional will succeed and sadly businesses can be quite clever at manipulating creators into working for free. As someone who likes to support small, local businesses wherever possible, I’ve been made to feel bad for not bending over backwards to ‘shoutout’ new establishments.

Brands do not hold all the power
In this industry, brands are able to approach influencers with no repercussions, but when influencers approach businesses, there is often backlash. It’s classic big guy vs little guy, and in my opinion, completely unfair. Partnerships should be a two-way street and communication needs to be open at both ends. When done effectively, pitching will benefit both parties.

Your audience’s trust is everything
Whatever you do, remember your word is all you have as a creator. You’ve likely spent years growing your audience, putting out quality content and helping your audience in a myriad of ways. I don’t care how much a brand deal is worth, it’s never worth compromising your integrity. Always be honest and truthful. If you’ve had a negative experience, write about it truthfully or don’t write about it at all. I like to keep this space positive, so I prefer to talk about things I like and if I need to say something negative do so in a constructive way.

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At the end of the day, there’s no such thing as a free lunch. If a brand reaches out to you, they’ve identified your value and should be serious about paying for your services. If they offer you something for free, the content you subsequently produce (if anything at all) is completely at your discretion.

June 21, 2020