prairie girl musings

Category: Life

  • Where To Go From Here?

    Where To Go From Here?

    It’s crazy to think January is more than halfway over. I’ve been feeling a bit uninspired and homesick lately, like I’m stuck in limbo. I haven’t felt compelled to talk about it for fear of sounding ungrateful or as though I regret my decision to move overseas. Also, Nick has really found his groove in Christchurch; he is killing it here and I’m proud of him.

    I’m starting to realize that all the things I took for granted in Toronto are actually what make the city interesting. I miss the constant buzz of that place, the jam packed subway and streetcars, the dirty streets, the constant Drake references, and even the frenetic urge to walk faster than anyone else on the footpath. The over saturation in almost every industry kept me competitive and ambitious. I loved balancing two jobs and the abundance of networking opportunities that often made me exhausted.

    But maybe it’s not sustainable to rely on external forces to stay passionate.

    Photo by Annie Zhang

    Rather than sulk, I’ve been trying to figure out ways to get back into the swing of things. I’ve come up with a list for combatting those January blues. Hopefully it will prove helpful for those of you who may be feeling a bit under the weather.

    Join the gym or a pilates/yoga studio. I know it’s cliché, but you can’t beat those endorphins. When I’m down, exercise is the only thing that improves my mood.

    Network – this can be more of a challenge if you’re not in an urban centre, but get creative. Seek out new ways of interacting, say with your barista or someone at your gym. Most people are pretty receptive if you give them the chance to be.

    Join a running club, or (insert favourite activity here) club.

    Take in local events, be it a comedy show, buskers festival or a street art crawl. Use these events as ways to connect with likeminded individuals.

    Appreciate what your city has to offer. My best friend visited last week and her enthusiasm for everything from the rebuild projects to the botanic gardens was refreshing.

    Dive into a new project. More on this soon!

    When I was in Toronto, I used social media to connect with other creatives. When my friend, Isabelle reached out to me via Instagram, I had no idea she’d become one of my closest friends. I also attended social media workshops and events that helped me get freelance jobs.

    I’ll soon be starting a series on this blog, which will highlight Christchurch businesses, spaces and events.

  • Note To Self

    Note To Self

    While I was at home over the holidays, I spent one evening thumbing through old family albums. As my sisters and I often do, we each selected a few of our favourite photos from our respective baby books.

    I recently read an article that discussed the twenty-something woman’s tendency to berate herself on a daily basis. I don’t recall where I found this article as I wasn’t overly concerned with the statistics or validity surrounding this claim, but I know it’s true. We’re all too quick to replay conversations that went awry, condemn our bodies, and agonize about our careers (or lack thereof). This sort of self-deprecating rhetoric is all-too-common. FML has become the new full stop to end our sentences, as we jokingly make these underhanded comments about our lives.

    We live in a society that measures success based on a handful of weighty milestones, yet keeping up with the Joneses is near impossible in our recovering economy and inflated housing market. This constant benchmarking against our peers, previous generations, and what we see in conventional and social media leads to mounting levels of stress and anxiety.

    Looking at this photo of myself as a toddler brought up an unfamiliar sense of empathy. I was reminded of a long forgotten innocence we all once possessed. Any feelings of inadequacy and stress were somehow absolved by looking at my carefree, infant self. We all need to be much kinder to ourselves. On a personal level, of course, but collectively as well. Condemning ourselves for our imperfections won’t change them, at least not without serious repercussions.

    Instead, I started thinking, “I need to treat myself how I’d treat a small child, a younger me.” Would I ever mockingly compare the failings of her aspirations? No, I’d love her unconditionally, and that’s how I resolve to treat myself going forward. It’s a lesson that’s applicable for anyone who is feeling inadequate or self-conscious.

    Along with the following list of things you can do instead of getting worked up, find an old photo of yourself and remember that it was taken not too long ago:

    1. If you’re tired, don’t press on, take a nap.

    2. Feed yourself healthy, wholesome food. Make yourself delicious meals that will give you energy and make you feel good.

    3. Allow yourself time to play.

    4. Engage in activities that feed your soul. There’s a reason over 95% of my female friends were enrolled in ballet at the age of four, and it’s not because our parents’ thought we’d start obsessing about how we looked in a leotard by the age of twelve.

    5. If you fall down, (literally or figuratively) take it easy for a day or two.

    6. Surround yourself with people who support you. The greatest people you will ever meet will reassure and console you when you’re feeling sad. And they will cheer you on throughout your many pursuits.

    7. When do children start looking in mirrors? From a young age, we’re fascinated with our reflection, but when does this fascination take a critical turn? Begin appreciating everything your body does for you, it’s a complex organism. If you’re lucky, you can walk, run and dance. To quote the famous Sunscreen speech, “Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can, don’t be afraid of it or what other people think of it. It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.”

  • The Ides of March

    The Ides of March

    March 15th, also known as The Ides of March became notorious as the date of the assassination of Julius Caesar. The Roman Senate had named Caesar dictator perpetuo (“dictator in perpetuity”) and fears grew that he would later dissolve the senate in favour of an absolute tyranny. This led to several senators to plot his assassination. Fear and desperation led the conspirators to stab Caesar twenty three times, they later proclaimed “People of Rome, we are once again free!”

    2058 years later, the bitterly cold tyranny of winter has gripped Toronto for too long. The freezing temperatures are no longer welcome mid-March, and a sense of fear and desperation is growing amongst the public. 

    March has never been my favourite month. Even as a child, unnecessary stress plagued me from all angles. It was always dance competition and music festival season, school seemed overwhelming while the weather was still non-compliant. Despite its downfalls, March has never been a stagnant month. Usually by the time April hits, I feel as though I’ve checked quite a few to-dos off my list.

    This week has been particularly noteworthy, from celebrating amazing news with friends (engagements, grad school acceptance letter, and new jobs! Hip hip hooray!) to finally buying a bicycle. Perhaps March isn’t so bad after all?

    Image

    Celebrating Mary’s acceptance into three of her top grad school picks, including John Hopkins University. This girl is nothing short of amazing!

    Torontonians soon will shake off the shackles of parkas, Sorels, and toques. They’ll embrace patios, sandals, and days on the Island. And we’ll proclaim, “people of Toronto, we are once again free!”

  • On Doing Nothing

    On Doing Nothing

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    Toronto is a hotbed for overachievers; those who rationalize being overworked and sleep-deprived. We’re New Yorkers in training, in a city that’s on the verge of growing up without any real identity. While I appreciate ambition, especially in these ever-crucial years, I don’t understand why we’re encouraging each other to work longer and harder without any real benefit.

    Does this scene sound familiar? You’re writing an email to your boss, while running on the treadmill, and updating your blog and preparing a coffee. I’ve become SO SKILLED at multitasking, that I’m unable to focus on one.single.task. at a time. In fact, while I type this post, I’m also boiling the kettle for tea, watching (or listening) to an episode of Happy Endings, and talking to my mom on the phone. Do you see what I’m getting at?!

    I recently read this article that perfectly described what I’ve been feeling for awhile: there’s much value in doing nothing at all. Many of us (myself included) feel the constant need to justify our actions and our goals. That is why I vow to spend two full days of my holidays, (I’m back in Saskatchewan, so it shouldn’t be too hard) completely disconnected. It should help that one of my best friends is visiting from New Zealand, and I’d like to devote my time to catching up (we haven’t seen each other in over a year!) and touring her around.

    How do you recharge when you know you’ve been running in circles?

    xo, Vanessa

  • You’re so beautiful, you could be a florist.

    You’re so beautiful, you could be a florist.

    You're so beautiful, you could be a florist.

    I used to work at a flower shop in my hometown. It was a transitional period in my life, but one I will never forget. I found this on Pinterest, and was absolutely intrigued. Enjoy! xx

  • Let Freedom Reign

    Let Freedom Reign

    Last night, a light went out in the world.

    South Africa lost its greatest son, Madiba, one of the most courageous and profoundly good human beings this world has ever known. The world was truly fortunate to have Nelson Mandela for 95 years, and his legacy is the peaceful South Africa we see today.

    In memory of Madiba, here are a few of his many influential quotes:

    “For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.”

    “As I walked out the door toward my freedom, I knew that if I didn’t leave all the anger, hatred, and bitterness behind, that I would still be in prison.”

    “There is no passion to be found in playing small – in settling for a life less than the one you are capable of living.”

    “Education is the most powerful weapon, which you can use to change the world.”

    “May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.”

    “It always seems impossible until it’s done.”

    “Part of being optimistic is keeping one’s head pointed towards the sun, one’s feet moving forward. There were many dark moments when my faith in humanity was tested, but I would not and could not give myself up to despair.”

    May his legacy live on.