prairie girl musings

Category: Life

My Quarantine Routine

Truthfully, I don’t know how best to proceed with this blog. All I know is how vital it is to my sanity during a time when I’ve lost the majority of my work. Writing and creating in whatever way I can has always been so important for my mental health. I’m actually finding that confinement and restriction can do wonders for creativity, in general. Let’s just say, I’m clinging to some semblance of normality by maintaining my regular routine.

I’ve heard many bloggers and content creators mention how they don’t want to encourage consumerism during these challenging times and I’d like to echo that sentiment. I know many of us have lost our jobs with many companies folding at a moment’s notice. Who knows what the future holds when things change so dramatically each day? While I don’t want to gloss over this fact, I personally find it refreshing to lean into my interests during difficult times (as superficial and unnecessary as they may seem…) Last weekend, I watched the entire season of Next In Fashion and honestly nothing’s made me happier.

In sharing my quarantine routine, I urge you to look to what you already have at home, products that you haven’t touched, ingredients you don’t normally use, and books you’ve yet to read rather than feeling like you need purchase something new. Well, we can’t really buy anything non-essential in New Zealand at this stage anyway… Believe me, I tried to order sweatpants because I left mine in Canada.

Like everyone else, I’ve been listening to my fair share of podcasts and regularly watching YouTube videos. I absolutely love hearing about the daily routines of different individuals. So, without further ado, this is my daily quarantine routine.

Please note: I’m not in full quarantine, but rather self-isolation/lockdown as is the case for all non-essential workers in New Zealand.

7:00am Wake up, drink some water and read for 25 minutes (I’ve just finished reading The New Animals by Pip Adam and am on a bit of New Zealand literature binge…)

7:30am Get dressed for my run. On alternate days, I do an at-home workout instead (usually HIIT but sometimes pilates).

8:15am Yoga or stretching followed by coffee, morning skincare and a shower (I’ve just started using Monday Haircare since running out of my regular shampoo and conditioner and being influenced by everyone on Instagram). For skincare, I still have my Synergie cleanser, exfoliant and daytime moisturiser, but might soon run out. For serum, I’ve been using the Lancôme Advanced Génifique, which was a PR gift two days prior to lockdown.

8:30-10:30am Writing time. I had previously been reserving my mornings for emails, scheduling in social media posts, writing articles and strategy calls with clients, but a lot of that is no longer part of my workload. Don’t worry, I’m finding things to do (like writing this blog post!)

10:30-11:00am I’ve been eating breakfast quite late during lockdown, I usually make a green smoothie consisting of the following ingredients: two handfuls of spinach, one banana, Everything Butter by Fix & Fogg (it’s a game-changer), frozen blueberries and celery if I’m feeling it. Otherwise, I’ll fry up an egg, spinach and have that with avocado and kimchi on toast.

11:00am-1:30pm More writing, whether it’s a blog post or a client report. Again, I’m assuming I’ll be spending a lot more time writing lists and short stories, reading the news, watching vlogs, and maybe even starting a gratitude journal (probably not though…)

1:30-2:30pm I might have a snack or if I’m still full from my late breakfast, I’ll go for a walk around the block instead (granted I worked out at home that morning. Gotta ration those outdoor excursions, am I right?)

3:00pm The afternoon slump hits and I usually curl up in bed for some more reading or even a nap. If I’m feeling adventurous, I might paint my nails or do a face mask.

4:00pm I might start thinking about dinner, walking back and forth from my desk to the fridge several times…

4:30pm If I decided to wear makeup that day (highly unlikely) I’ll remove it now. If I’m wearing jeans or a dress (also unlikely) I’ll change into sweats or pyjamas.

4:45pm After looking longingly at my phone, I’ll probably start to rustle up some ingredients for dinner. If it’s not my turn to cook (it’s usually not, I’m not the best cook) I’ll watch a YouTube video and drink some water. I’ve been drinking SO MUCH WATER these days. Anyone else?

5:00pm It’s the end of the work day, hurray! Dinner is fully underway and our bubble is getting excited for our evening television viewing.

6:30pm Dinner time! We’ve been loving roast veggies, Taco Tuesdays and slow cooked anything. I’m hoping to make Kraft Dinner for some nostalgic purposes this weekend. It’s super processed though, so I wouldn’t suggest having it unless you’re desperate.

7:15pm After enjoying dinner and asking each other about our days, it’s time for a drink. I’ve been trying to hold off drinking on week nights, but sometimes I crack and open a bottle of rosé. I’m trying not to be too hard on myself. This week we’ve been watching Castle Rock on Lightbox (it’s also on Hulu), it’s scary and makes me feel better about my situation.

9:30pm Evening skincare routine time: double cleanse, (Synergie, again!) hydrating toner, (Dermaviduals) serum (I have a few drops left of my Synergie Acceler-A night time serum and it’s heavenly!) and sometimes even a mask (I was sent a few hydrating Syrène masks to try, loving them) followed by my evening moisturiser (Drunk Elephant). If I’m not too exhausted from my busy day, I’ll do some bedtime reading before lights out.

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed seeing what I’ve been up to this past week. Leave your quarantine routine in the comments below or tag me on Instagram using the hashtag #quarantineroutine. Love you lots and take care!

Lead image by Nancy Zhou.

April 2, 2020
What We’ve Learnt In Our First Year of Marriage
There’s no doubt about it, fewer millennial couples are getting married. Do we even need marriage these days or is it an outdated institution and merely an opportunity to put ourselves and our relationships on display? Throughout my twenties, I definitely didn’t expect I’d ever get married. I was in a stable, committed relationship and honestly didn’t see the need for it. Sure, I got butterflies in my stomach every time I imagined picking out my wedding dress and welled up as I watched friends walk down the aisle, but did that mean marriage was right for me?

As it turns out, my perspective has completely shifted since marrying Nick a year ago. I was absolutely certain nothing at all would change. We’d exchange rings, have a big party with our nearest and dearest, and then we’d go back to regular scheduled programming, right? In reality, things have changed, even if it’s on a subconscious level. I do feel differently about our partnership since getting married and like I’ve learnt a thing or two…

Here’s what I’ve learnt since tying the knot:
1. Marriage is a big freaking deal— there’s nothing quite like saving up, planning and carefully writing your vows before reciting them in front of everyone you know to make things feel official. While I always imagined our wedding to be one big party, the ceremony, the vows and the significance of it all is what truly matters.
2. Security — It may sound silly, but I feel so much more secure and confident in our relationship since getting married. Hearing Nick’s beautiful and thoughtful vows really cemented his love for me. Sure, he demonstrates his commitment to me every day, but I feel comfortable knowing that we were both ready to take the leap toward married life together.
3. It’s less stressful than planning a wedding — Planning a wedding, especially when you’re as detail-oriented as I am, can become all consuming. Being married is actually pretty low key most of the time and I love that we’re able to just sit back and enjoy it. That said, continuing to have fun together, surprising and prioritising one another is pretty important.
4. We need to keep working on ourselves (separately and together) — Sure, we’re a unit and a pretty solid team, but it’s important we continue to have our own lives, hobbies and friendships. I could never expect one person to be my everything. Getting married doesn’t excuse you from continuing to work on yourself and to work through your issues.
5. We want to make things work — Whenever we do have an argument, we tend to resolve it quickly and communicate more effectively than before we were married. I honestly don’t know why this is, but maybe knowing that we’re married and in this together makes us want to work through any problems that arise and be gentler with each other.
6. You share each other’s joys and burdens — When one of you goes through something difficult, whether it’s losing a job or the death of a family member, the other person shares your pain and carries part of the burden. When things feel super heavy, it’s incredibly beneficial to have someone to lean on. And when you’re on top of the word, it feels amazing to have someone’s excitement levels match your own.
7. Gratitude is everything — Nick does so many little things for me and looks out for me in subtle ways and I always try to reciprocate and be grateful. Obviously it depends on your dynamic as a couple (I know couples who are sarcastic 99% of the time..) but remembering to be kind with each other goes a long way.
8. Other people’s support is everything — Not everyone will understand your marriage, but knowing they’ve got your back is crucial especially as you navigate the highs and lows. Personally, I’ve been through a lot of changes since moving to New Zealand. While Nick might not be precisely the person some of my family and friends envisioned me marrying, they’ve been 100% supportive of our relationship and eventual marriage. They even flew all the way from Canada to celebrate with us. It’s comforting knowing your loved ones are with you every step of the way.
9. It’s not just about becoming Mr. and Mrs. — Truthfully, we could’ve achieved everything above without ‘putting a ring on it’ and long-term relationships are just as official and important as marriages. Some cultures believe in and prioritise marriage more than others. Some people change their names, others don’t. Slapping a label on something won’t magically fix it or somehow make it more valid.
—

While things remain mostly the same on the surface level, I now do believe that marriage changes a relationship and its dynamic. I’d be curious to hear your thoughts whether you’re single, in a long term relationship or married!

Photos by the incredible, Sophie Isabella
March 16, 2020
We’re Moving!

It’s official, we’re moving. After four and a half years, the time has come for Nick and I to say goodbye to Christchurch.

While we’re both delighted about the move, it wasn’t an easy decision to make. Life in Christchurch has been incredible. We’ve made amazing, lifelong friends, grown immensely in our careers, and achieved a few personal milestones along the way. We bought a house! We got married! And we managed to fit in some travel and higher education. New Zealand has been good to us and we know it’ll always be here. It’s Nick’s home and my adopted home. It’s a place that feels familiar and easy, but we’ve realised that we need to move on to keep growing and challenging ourselves.

We initially moved to Christchurch because we felt stuck professionally and set some lofty career goals for ourselves. I’m ridiculously proud of Nick and everything he has accomplished for the city, procuring electric scooters, developing accessible transport and resilience strategies that continue to draw people to the city centre. This city still has a long way to go, but we both feel grateful for the opportunities we’ve had during its revitalisation thus far. Reflecting on what I wrote prior to our move even makes me slightly emotional (or maybe it’s just the weight of moving across the world for the fourth time):

“Nick’s new job will allow him to influence Christchurch’s rebirth through public transport and accessibility. Having the foresight to envision a lively, vibrant community, Christchurch is projected to be a cycling city where people gather in the town centre.”

I am super close to my family and living on a different continent than them has always been challenging. I started feeling the pull of home as soon as I turned thirty and Nick’s been very supportive of that.

So, when are we leaving?

We’re leaving this April. I know, so soon…

What about work?

We’re both going to be freelancing to start. A lot of my work is done remotely and I have a few projects that will take me through to May or June. Nick has been asked to continue contracting as well, so we’ll continue contracting and our consulting work until we settle somewhere more permanently.

Where are we moving?

We haven’t settled on a specific destination yet. My family’s in Saskatchewan, so living in the prairies would mean being that much closer to home. We LOVED living in Toronto during our early twenties. It’s such a vibrant, dynamic city and the financial centre of Canada. It’s where most people in my industry like to base themselves. There’s a certain level of hustle that keeps you on your toes and makes life exciting. Plus, Nick has lots of friends who work in Transport and Urban Planning, so it’s an obvious choice. Vancouver is also appealing for the lifestyle it offers. Living near the sea is something we truly cherish and it’s a direct flight to New Zealand. Vancouver’s a lot more laidback than Toronto, so the transition from life in Christchurch would definitely be more seamless in that sense! Not to mention, the weather’s more mild and winter is more bearable.

If you have any suggestions on where we should base ourselves, we’d love to hear them! And as always, thanks for your support!

Photo by Ana Galloway

January 29, 2020
On Motherhood

I never imagined I’d share this story with you. It’s one I’ve been trying to write for years and I’m still not sure I’ve found the right words. I’m not sharing this for pity or sympathy, nor am I looking for attention or advice. I’m finally hitting publish because I’ve come to realise how common and relatable this experience is for women the world over. If my words can help even one person feel less ashamed, it’ll be worth it.

When I was sixteen, my period failed to arrive and my mother booked me in for a specialist appointment. I hate to admit it now, but I was secretly proud of my flat chest and lack of hips. It meant that I didn’t need to wear a bra under my bodysuit and my figure was starting to resemble that of the ballerinas I admired. I practiced harder and longer and wore my boyish shape like a badge of honour, thinking that maybe I was one step closer to pursuing dance as a viable career.

As it turns out, things weren’t okay and I left the doctor’s office with an entirely new perspective and a pile of pills.

I’ve had 15 years to come to terms with my infertility and in some ways, I feel lucky. Many women my age struggle to get pregnant or go through miscarriages and I imagine it feels like your world is caving in. Hearing that your body is not doing what it is ‘supposed’ to do is confronting at any age, but it’s even harder when you’ve spent your whole life picturing yourself as a mother.

Still, when someone asks Nick and I when we’re going to start having kids, I always catch myself inhaling sharply and trying to come up with something clever to say. It’s a question I’ve always found to be deeply inappropriate and hurtful, but for some reason, many people still think it’s okay to ask. Should I smile and shrug it off? Should I answer honestly and worry I’ve made the other person uncomfortable or worse, feel sorry for us? Not only is it completely unacceptable to ask women about baby plans, it’s equally frustrating when people’s minds immediately jump to that conclusion whenever a woman says she has exciting news.

That’s not to say we’ll never have kids. Modern medicine is incredible and there are a myriad of ways to conceive, but many of these methods are emotionally, physically and financially draining. We’ve had years to consider all the options and to decide whether parenthood is the right path for us. I don’t think even we know yet.

Being faced with infertility at a young age, I’ve explored other sides of myself and imagined what life could look like both with and without children. I’ve talked to new mothers who felt like it was the best thing that’s ever happened to them. Conversely, I’ve met women who have felt distant and detached from their babies. I know couples who have adopted and others who have lived incredibly full lives without children. I’ve tried to develop an objective outlook on something that to some feels like a guarantee.

As women, we’re systemically taught to feel ashamed of our bodies, the same bodies that do so much for us. There’s also a lot of judgment surrounding sharing your story, we’re instructed that we should keep these things private. But if we ever want to escape the highlight reel that is engagements, new homes, weddings and babies (…and ticking all of society’s carefully laid out boxes) it’s probably time we opened up. By keeping this to myself (which I’ve done for many years) I’m only contributing to the stigmatism and belief that it SHOULD be kept a secret and hidden.

One story has the power to connect us; to make us feel less alone. Some of the women I love following online (like Eat Sleep Wear) have shared their own experiences with infertility and given me the confidence to share my own.

If you or someone you love is dealing with infertility, I wish I could reach out and give you a big hug. I know it’s one of the most difficult things to go through, but it’s important to remember you’re not alone. If you ever want to talk, I’m here.

November 25, 2019
On Turning Thirty

Today marks my thirtieth lap around the sun (it’s still the 17th in Canada…) Thirty is a daunting, anxiety-inducing age for many people. We spend so much time writing down goals and resolutions, trying to figure out how we can become better versions of ourselves — smarter, thinner, prettier, the list goes on… But what about embracing exactly who we are in this moment? Rather than looking forward with plans for the next decade, it feels like the right time to celebrate the woman I’ve become and share a few lessons I’ve learnt about myself along the way.

At thirty, I can finally confidently say that worrying about what other people think is a waste of time. I’ve spent years caring about what others think of me and trying to fit a particular mould. In the past, I wanted to be liked by everyone, valuing their opinions of me above my own. The older I get, the more I know exactly out who I aspire to be and care less about being liked and more about being respected.

I don’t have to live up to others’ expectations nor should I be expected to live up to society’s standards. Success, like anything, is relative and you’re not going to want the same things you wanted when you were younger. It’s taken a lot of trial and error, but I’ve stopped caring so much about how things should look and have embraced how things actually are.

The desire to be at the best party and to hang out with the cool kids is no longer a thing for me. I now want to plan my social life around those who give me energy and love; those who make time for me and put in what they take out. In the past, I’d make excuses for those who would subtly put me down or make me feel small, but I don’t have time for that anymore.

On the other hand, spending time alone, actually alone, without your phone or external distractions is absolutely essential. It can be unnerving, for sure, but it’s the best way to check in with yourself to see how you’re really doing. There have been times when, from the outside, everything in my life looked amazing. It wasn’t until I checked in with myself and realised things were not okay.

There’s a lot of focus placed on the end result, the destination — we all love ‘before and after’ photos and seeing how far we’ve come. But you know what’s even more interesting? The process. The process of becoming older and wiser, becoming healthier, happier and more financially stable — these are all habits that take time and aren’t exactly linear, but they should be both therapeutic and empowering, even invigorating. I read a quote the other day, “You are becoming — and you should take your time.”

The better you know yourself, the better you’re equipped to find someone who complements not completes you. I was only single for about three months of my twenties, but Nick and I did several stints of long distance throughout our twenties. While most people view long distance as a curse, in retrospect, it’s enabled us to become the best versions of ourselves. When you meet the love of your life at a very young age, the likelihood is high that one or both of you will have to make some pretty big sacrifices. Nick has always been 100% supportive of my dreams. From encouraging my solo travel to supporting me when I considered dancing on a cruise ship for nine months. I’m lucky to have met someone who understands the inevitable challenges of a relationship, but has decided to tackle the difficult stuff together.

And the absolute best thing about getting older? I’ve started to get to know myself better with each passing year. To become better acquainted with yourself is such a gift. As a thirty year old woman, I’m learning to be patient because everything comes at the right time. I’m no longer trying to fill a void because I’ve finally realised that I am everything I need.

“You’re so hard on yourself.
Take a moment.
Sit back.
Marvel at your life:
at the grief that softened you,
at the heartache that wisened you,
at the suffering that strengthened you.
Despite everything,
you still grow.
Be proud
of this.”

Photography by Reuben Looi

December 18, 2018
Thirty Goals For My Thirties

In less than four months, I’ll be turning thirty. I’m not one to let a big milestone pass by unannounced and I wanted to reflect on my twenties and set some intentions for the decade ahead. This is a long post (apologies in advance) — so grab a cup of coffee and let’s crack into it, shall we?

Find my niche. My twenties were all about experimentation and trying out a few different career options. After I finished university, I had a pretty clear idea of what I wanted to do. But that’s changed immensely over the past five years. I went from working in publishing to working at a start-up to working for an advertising agency and then a communications agency. I’m now working for myself and it feels SO GOOD. That said, I want to continue to develop my skills until I find my sweet spot. I’ve started moving into strategy and consulting work and I absolutely love it.

Re-brand. I created this blog when I was in my early twenties and A LOT has changed since then. My first few posts were about the heartache of a long distance relationship and my feelings of displacement. While I never want to forget my prairie roots and will always be a prairie girl at heart, it’s time for a more grown-up brand. Stay tuned because there are exciting plans in the works!

Work with my favourite brands. I’ve been fortunate to collaborate with some ridiculously cool local companies and I want to continue doing so well into my thirties.

Work internationally. It’s no secret that I love travelling and it’s my dream to work with international clients and brands. On the other hand, I am considering a possible relocation sometime in my thirties (to be completely vague about it…) I miss my family a lot, so many visits home are on the cards as well.

Meet you at the barre. I’d like to do weekly barre classes. I trained as a dancer when I was in high school and university, but haven’t danced since my early twenties. Fortunately, Les Mills has introduced barre classes and I’m all about that!

Dance. Barre’s fun and all, but there’s something about actual dance classes that’s so liberating. I’m going to enrol in a weekly dance class because I miss dancing all the time.

City guides. It turns out you all love city guides as much as I do (yay!) so I’ll continue to share international guides throughout my thirties. I have a few international destinations coming up within the next few months, so make sure you’ve subscribed to my blog updates.

Live more sustainably. Can fashion blogging and sustainability go hand in hand? (I’m actually writing a post about this at the moment…) It’s something I’ve been wanting to explore and discuss with you all, especially as my interest in conscious consumption grows. Expect more on this subject over the next few years.

Collaborate and celebrate community. The media and marketing community in Christchurch is small but mighty and I’m all about collaboration. So, hit me up, would ya? Also, my friends at Mooch Style and I hosted a bloggers workshop awhile ago, so we need to kick those off again!

Focus on the blog. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, your own channels are where it’s at! I’m going to spend less time on Instagram and dedicate more time to this bloggity blog.

Enrol in a photography course. The incredible quality of my iPhone and mirrorless camera have meant that I’ve been able to take most of my content without any training. I’d like to change that by enrolling in a photography course and learning how to properly use a DSLR.

Get married. Nick and I met nine and a half years ago and if someone told us we would one day get married, I wouldn’t have believed them. Our relationship has seen many stages and I’m glad we waited this long to get married. In all honesty, we’ve been common law partners for awhile and I don’t want marriage to change what we have. We’ve been through so much together: long distance, moving halfway across the world for one another, homesickness, unemployment, career changes, buying a house… We both feel like we’ve experienced as much as a married couple without the paperwork (well, actually there was a lot of paperwork for both our visas, so I take that back!) While we don’t want marriage to change us, it’ll be nice to celebrate with our family and friends — those who’ve supported us throughout our ten years.

Live healthily. This is an ongoing goal of mine and encompasses both physical and mental health. Sometimes I forget to check in with myself and I’d like to do that more in my thirties.

Drink less. I wouldn’t say that I drink too much (but hey, that’s subjective). However, I do know how unhealthy it is and I want to live a long life, so I’m going to cut back in my thirties.

Self-care. I’m delving into self-care habits I’ve adopted in my next post, so stay tuned. It’s something that will continue to be a major focus in my thirties.

Explore the possibility of children. This is something I’ve never ever talked about on my channels before. Obviously, it’s hugely personal and I’m not quite ready to share everything on this front yet.

Vulnerability. So much of what we share is filtered, edited, revised. As a writer, I’m all about re-reading what I’ve written and making adjustments. I don’t think I’ll ever be 100% unfiltered, off-script. I’m Canadian, we’re taught that too much information is sometimes too much… That said, there’s something so incredible about sharing our truest selves and talking about the not-so-glamorous parts of our lives. Expect more of that coming your way.

Get back into running. I still run quite regularly, but I haven’t completed any sort of race in awhile. I’d like to do another half marathon or two in my thirties.

Less screen time. I use my phone for work every day. Whether I’m answering emails on the go, posting an Instagram story or snapping a photo of my lunch, my phone is always by my side. I’d like to limit my screen time to work hours and spend more quality face-to-face time with my friends and loved ones.

Family time. This is an ongoing goal as well, but I’d like to live closer to my parents and spend more time with my immediate family. We’re all very close and it often feels ridiculous to live on another continent, so far away from them.

Read more. I studied English Literature and used to read at least five books a month (we were assigned many more than that, but who can read four novels a week?!) Anyway, I’ve read an embarrassingly little amount since then, so I’d like to get back into that.

Vouch for myself. As a self-employed freelancer, I sometimes get requests that are laughable and frankly, insulting. Negotiating rates and contracts can feel scary, but it’s so important to vouch for yourself and your skills.

Say no. Saying no to opportunities that aren’t a good fit, people that I’ve outgrown (or have outgrown me) isn’t easy, but it’s something I’ve been working on.

Be opinionated. Young girls are taught to be nice and polite, pleasant and respectful. While these can be admirable qualities, what’s more admirable is having a voice, sticking up for yourself and others, and having an opinion, particularly on issues that matter. My thirties are all about sharing my opinion, even when it’s not the popular one.

Support others. There are so many talented creatives in New Zealand and I want to celebrate everything those around me have accomplished.

Explore more. I live in a pretty freaking beautiful country. Let’s explore it, shall we?

Shop local. I won’t type another word on this subject as you’ve probably read my twenty previous posts, but I’m still listing it as a regular goal.

Pro bono work. This speaks for itself, but I’d like to get to a point where I can offer free marketing and consulting work for the causes I believe in. I want to use my channels to talk about issues that matter to me. Locally, I’d like to work with the City Mission again.

Entrepreneurship. There were many reasons why I decided to quit my full-time job to freelance full-time. I’d like to spend my thirties working for myself and continuing to develop my business. It’s scary but amazing to be my own boss, set my own hours and work towards my own dreams.

Celebrate. Not to get all cheesy on you, but there are moments in life worth celebrating and turning thirty is one of them. I’m anticipating at least a weeklong celebration…

All photos by Malia Rose Photographer

Thank you for supporting me by reading these posts, leaving comments and sharing your own experiences. It means the world that I get to write for a living, it’s always been my dream even as a young girl.

July 31, 2018
What I Need To Stop Doing Before I Turn Thirty…
I hate to admit it, but I’m a people pleaser.

With my thirtieth birthday looming, I’m taking stock of all my habits, behaviours and characteristics. There’s nothing like leaving your twenties behind to force you to reflect on your life up till this point, the good, the bad, the ugly…

You decide, I’m fine with whatever. This has been my go-to mantra for most of my adult life. I often find myself managing the needs of others and worrying about how they’re feeling, meanwhile forgetting to check in with myself.

That is, until I completely lose it and have an outburst of sorts.

In general, I think people pleasing is pretty common. After all, we’re all taught not to complain too much, to be polite, and to be fun to be around. What starts out harmless enough (I mean, where would we be without common courtesies and human decency?) can end up turning into bitterness and resentment.

While managing the expectations and anticipating the needs of others, I’m realising how exhausted I am and that I’m not actually living my life to the fullest. I know it’s rooted in fear; the fear of how my choices might impact or inconvenience others. But relying on others to make the big calls will affect your relationship with that person (and ultimately with yourself). It’s detrimental to those around you. While they may initially benefit from you being accommodating, they may also feel the weight of making all the decisions.

Do you find yourself doing one or more of the following?
- Saying yes to everything, even when you don’t have time or don’t want to do something
- Changing or shifting your plans (especially last minute) to suit others
- Holding back when asked for feedback or an honest opinion
- Allowing other people to talk down to you or to question your judgment
- Always letting the other person command the conversation
If so, you may be suffering from similar people pleasing behaviour.

So, how do we deal with our people pleasing tendencies? Well, I’m still figuring it out and probably won’t have it figured out by the time I turn thirty. But to start, I’m now making room for the goals I’ve long pushed aside; the ones I keep telling myself I’ll get around to one day. If that comes across as selfish, I’m okay with that. After all, it’s okay to dedicate time to our own dreams.

Photography by Sophie Isabella.
May 16, 2018
We’ve got something to tell you…

… Nick and I are engaged!

After nearly nine years together, we’ve decided to tie the knot. We’ve discussed marriage on and off for a long time, but ultimately wanted to wait until we had our ducks in a row before taking the plunge. It’s funny poring over old blog posts I wrote five years ago, after university, when Nick and I were embarking on another long distance stint. I’m forever grateful for those long, excruciating months we spent apart; refusing to sacrifice our ambitions despite our love for each other:

As we grow and evolve, I hope we continue to see the choices we’re making at the moment as the right ones. Perhaps I’m a walking, breathing cliche, but following my heart has never failed me. I hope you have the courage to follow yours. x

Since moving to Christchurch, figuring out our careers, and buying our first home, we finally feel like we’re ready to take the next step. With my parents visiting from Canada, it’s been fun discussing potential wedding ideas. Details on the wedding are yet to be determined, but I wanted to share a few engagement photos taken by the lovely, Nancy Zhou. We ventured to Sumner Beach, just after sunrise, a few days after Nick popped the question with his grandmother’s ring.

December 29, 2017
Fun Ways To Prepare For The Year Ahead

As we sprint towards the end of the year, I haven’t stopped to properly catch my breath. It’s been a big year, both personally and professionally, which I won’t dwell on in this post. Instead, I’d like to share some of my favourite ways to prepare for the new year.

2018 is a clean slate and the negativity and stresses of 2017 needn’t spill over into the new year. I like to start each year with a blank sheet of paper (both literally and figuratively). Finding a day planner that speaks to your soul is essential in my books (pun intended) and I’m always one of the first in line to purchase a new agenda. The ban.do planners are my absolute favourite because they don’t take themselves too seriously. There’s nothing worse than a dull day planner and these are quite the opposite. Chock full of stickers, hand-drawn artwork and important holidays (ie. National Plant a Flower Day!) – it’s a good daily reminder to not sweat the small stuff and to always use every shade of highlighter…

When mapping out 2018, I made sure to schedule in some holidays and plenty of travel. It’s the best way to stay inspired and continue creating and growing. I’m planning on visiting Gold Coast/Byron Bay, Rarotonga, Los Angeles, Palm Springs, Toronto, heading back home to Saskatchewan, and exploring more of New Zealand with family. I also write down a few of the major milestones I have coming up, weddings, birthdays, babies, and everything in between. Life is worth celebrating, right?

In addition to taking pen to paper, I also like to get my digital house in order. I’m in the midst of unsubscribing from all the clutter in my inbox – a girl can only handle so many discount codes and free shipping notifications.

Now that my day planner is filled with dates (and stickers) and my inbox is looking a bit tidier, it’s time to think about my physical goals for the year. I used to love running half marathons, but haven’t done one in years, so I’m looking at dates and training schedules. I’ve been a member at Les Mills for almost two years, but the new year is a good time to consider alternative exercise options.

This year we moved into our first home, so Nick and I have started planning the renovations and home improvements on our wishlist. I’ve also started going through my wardrobe, donating the items that I no longer wear and organising the ones that are on heavy rotation. I’m messier than I care to admit, so my things tend to spill into multiple rooms. Needless to say, an end of year clean is a definite priority.

What do you do to prepare for a new year? Are you stickler for planning or do you prefer to take it easy and wind down over the last few days of the year?

This post was in collaboration with ban.do, but all opinions are my own.

Images by Jillian Miller Photography

December 19, 2017
My Sunday Routine

Now that I’m fully immersed in my new job (!) I’m truly cherishing my weekends by slowing down. Filling my days with good food, conversation and books has always been important to my wellbeing, but increasingly so as I get older.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve experienced the Sunday Blues – you know that feeling of dread when you know your weekend’s coming to a close and you’ll have to wear pants for the following five days (which actually isn’t so bad after all!) In an attempt to combat the blues, I’ve structured my weekends in such a way that make them equal parts fun and relaxing. I’m quite ritualistic by nature and love reading and hearing about other people’s daily routines. I thought I’d share my routine with you and would love to hear yours as well!

7:00 am. While I usually try to sleep in on Sundays, my body clock is pre-programmed to waking up around 6:00 or 6:30.

7:30 am. After staying in bed for as long as possible (it’s Sunday after all), I try to get my body moving. I’ve been trialling different gyms, but on weekends I usually stick to 5-10km runs around my neighbourhood.

8:30 am. It’s time for coffee. My Sunday morning never feels complete without a cup of liquid gold. While drinking coffee, I scroll through Instagram and read the news on Twitter.

9:00 am. Nick and I check to see how many bookings we have for Radler Tours that day. Yesterday, we had six lovely locals join us for a tour.

9:30 am. By this point, I’m pretty hungry. I’ll either make eggs or avocado on toast or visit one of my favourite cafés or markets. If I’m at the market, I’ll pick up a fresh loaf of bread, some produce and cheese.

11:00 am. If the weather’s nice, I love spending a couple hours at the beach. In the colder months, I love perusing flower shops and flower markets. I used to work at a florist back in Saskatchewan and have always found inspiration in a beautiful bouquet.

1:00 pm. Time to kick off Radler Tours from Cathedral Square in Christchurch. Nick leads the tours and I take photos and videos to share on our website, social channels and sometimes for local publications.

4:00 pm. At this point, we’ve wrapped up tours for the day and we’re likely having a pint at our favourite local watering hole, Smash Palace. It’s one of the coolest bars I’ve ever been to.

5:30 pm. It’s time to think about dinner. We usually cook together as a flat and my flatmates are pretty amazing cooks. (I’m still working on it!)

7:30 pm. After dinner, it’s time to wind down. I like to settle in with a good book or magazine. Lately I’ve been loving Pablo Coelho’s The Alchemist. I often spend Sunday evenings painting my nails.

8:30 pm. By now, I’m likely curled up in bed with a hot cup of camomile tea. I usually turn in pretty early on Sunday evenings to mentally prepare myself for the week ahead.

April 24, 2016