prairie girl musings

Tag: musings

  • On Doing Nothing

    On Doing Nothing

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    Toronto is a hotbed for overachievers; those who rationalize being overworked and sleep-deprived. We’re New Yorkers in training, in a city that’s on the verge of growing up without any real identity. While I appreciate ambition, especially in these ever-crucial years, I don’t understand why we’re encouraging each other to work longer and harder without any real benefit.

    Does this scene sound familiar? You’re writing an email to your boss, while running on the treadmill, and updating your blog and preparing a coffee. I’ve become SO SKILLED at multitasking, that I’m unable to focus on one.single.task. at a time. In fact, while I type this post, I’m also boiling the kettle for tea, watching (or listening) to an episode of Happy Endings, and talking to my mom on the phone. Do you see what I’m getting at?!

    I recently read this article that perfectly described what I’ve been feeling for awhile: there’s much value in doing nothing at all. Many of us (myself included) feel the constant need to justify our actions and our goals. That is why I vow to spend two full days of my holidays, (I’m back in Saskatchewan, so it shouldn’t be too hard) completely disconnected. It should help that one of my best friends is visiting from New Zealand, and I’d like to devote my time to catching up (we haven’t seen each other in over a year!) and touring her around.

    How do you recharge when you know you’ve been running in circles?

    xo, Vanessa

  • Land of Living Skies

    Land of Living Skies

    There’s something incredible about returning home after being away for a long period of time. I was recently back in Saskatchewan for the first time since relocating to Toronto. Oddly enough, I came home more frequently when I lived in New Zealand. I’m not sure why I haven’t been home. Perhaps it’s been because of my internship and job hunt. With the oftentimes haphazard scheduling of interviews, I didn’t want to miss out on any opportunities that came my way.

    Regardless, it felt amazing to be back at my parents’ house in Yorkton. They’ve only lived here for the past three years, but it always feels like home. It’s the constant in my ever-changing, never stable life. It’s the place to which I return from wherever I’ve been living. As the complete antithesis of Toronto’s urbanity and chaos, Saskatchewan feels like a retreat, an escape from the everyday challenges I encounter in the Big Smoke. I always harp on about how much I love urbanity, and it’s a necessity for me at this age, but Saskatchewan has indescribable charm and vast beauty that many city dwellers will never experience.

    It’s also a place where my family has lived for a number of years. Throughout my life, I was fortunate to live nearby to all four grandparents. Last week, after the passing of my paternal grandfather, I realized what a luxury it was truly getting to know my grandparents. Many of my cousins, aunties, uncles, and extended family are all located in the prairies as well. It’s serene, with vast blue skies and perpetual sunshine. Most of my childhood and teenage friends still reside in Saskatchewan, which makes for a wonderful reunion whenever I am here.

    When I was completing a multimedia project for my creative writing course at The University of Auckland, I conducted an experiment comparing my two reference points (at the time): The Prairies and The North Island (of New Zealand). It was an introspective assignment that I delved into wholeheartedly. It enabled me to record my experiences with displacement. Should you be interested in reading my exegesis, I’ve attached the link here.

    Saskatchewan, I do not appreciate you enough. You’re a wonderful place to call home.

  • The never-ending quest for meaningful work.

    The never-ending quest for meaningful work.

    I initially began writing this post almost two months ago. This mere fact speaks volumes about my ability to endlessly ruminate on a topic (read: procrastinate) and my inability to decide on a consistent theme for this blog, or my life for that matter.

    The issue of coming into one’s profession has always been of interest to me. Increasingly so following the completion of two editorial internships with Canadian magazines.

    I am an idealist; an eternal optimist. I’ve always placed great importance on finding the right career, but as I reach my mid-twenties, I’ve realized that the perfect career does not exist. I’ve yet to find a career that truly resonates with who I am. This sheds light on the question of whether a career needs to tick all your boxes.

    I had a primary school teacher who, at the age of five, knew that she was destined to be a teacher. I have always been drawn to teaching. I started teaching dance when I was still actively studying and dreaming about a professional career. Unfortunately, even after being admitted to Canada’s only direct-entry Bachelor of Education program, (which I would have completed in French) I was still undecided. I wanted to get away and see the world, not stay in my native province for the next four years. After all, I had lived here for the entirety of my eighteen years, wasn’t that enough? My feelings were further complicated after speaking to my favourite high school teacher, who was sufficiently jaded and exasperated from her own teaching experiences. Needless to say, she advised me to consider different academic routes.

    Unfortunately, deciding one’s profession at 18 isn’t something that many of us are capable of doing. I internalized the variety of opinions that came from family members, friends, teachers (and dance teachers), coaches (and vocal coaches), guidance counselors, and pastors (okay, I’m kidding on the last one.) They all had my best interests in mind, but I still felt paralyzed and could not make a decision.

    I spent my summer performing with Saskatchewan Express, our province’s musical touring company. This experience enabled me to put off making a decision about my future until the last possible minute. Even once classes began at Minot State University, where I eventually enrolled, I was still driving back to Canada every weekend for performances.

    My point is that many high school students and even twenty-somethings feel trapped. How can an individual who doesn’t know if they’re on the right path, be expected to pursue that path full-heartedly? What’s the point of giving something your undivided attention if you cannot vocalize why you’re doing it? Sure, they know what their community expects them to do, what would make their parents the most proud, what will pay the bills, and very little about their own passions or how their skills can improve society as a whole.

  • Cosmopolitanism

    “Cosmopolitanism is an orientation, a willingness to engage with the other. It entails an intellectual and aesthetic openness towards divergent cultural experiences, a search for contrasts rather than uniformity. To become acquainted with more cultures is to turn into an aficionado, to view them as artworks. At the same time, however, cosmopolitanism can be a matter of competence, and competence of both a generalised and a more specialised kind. There is the aspect of a state of readiness, a personal ability to make one’s way into other cultures, through listening, looking, intuiting, and reflecting.”

    -Hannerz, 1990