prairie girl musings

Category: Wedding

  • What I’ve Learned (So Far) Planning A Wedding

    What I’ve Learned (So Far) Planning A Wedding

    After celebrating our engagement with family and friends, Nick and I are now in the early stages of wedding planning. We’ve set a date and chosen a location (which in itself has been a mission!) The journey so far has been a rollercoaster and we’ve already picked up a few tips that I thought might be useful for those of you who are dreaming up your big day or maybe just a little curious about it all…

    Start with your budget
    The obvious place to start, to my dismay, isn’t Pinterest or Instagram (although I did spend a good day or two combing through pages and pages of bridal magazines)… Start with a good old Excel spreadsheet and plot out how much you anticipate to spend on every little detail from the flowers to your dress and the venue and catering.

    Wedding tax is real
    Everything costs more than you’d expect, especially if you’re planning to opt for a more traditional wedding. The wedding industry is a multi-billion dollar industry (one that’s finally being disrupted thanks to millennials, but more on that later…) Prices for your big day will be inflated. I’ve heard from several people to avoid using the word, “wedding” at all costs. From the catering to the venue, I had NO idea how much everything would cost and it definitely makes me cry a little.

    On the other hand…
    I get it. There’s infinitely more pressure attached to being part of someone’s big day and I can understand why vendors need to charge more. How you design your wedding is completely up to you, and that’s quite exhilarating. I’ve known people who’ve tied the knot at their favourite, unpretentious Toronto diner with 25 guests and others who’ve gone to their local courthouse to make things official. Both are incredibly romantic ways of declaring your love.

    It’s been an emotional time
    I’d always envisioned planning my wedding alongside my parents and my sisters. Being so far from home and deciding on the important details of my big day has been challenging. I’ve experienced a lot of guilt since deciding to have my wedding in New Zealand, knowing that not all the important people in my life will be able to come…  It’s also been hard not being able to celebrate important milestones with my mom and sisters. I was able to go dress shopping with my younger sister when we were in Sydney together, and that meant the world to me.

    Let’s not play the comparison game
    I’ve been to a lot of weddings. I come from a big family with a penchant for huge Ukrainian weddings. While I’m looking forward to incorporating key elements of my heritage into my big day, our wedding is about us as a couple. We’ve decided to plan a wedding that suits us. Our families have kindly shared their thoughts and advice on who to invite, where and when to have the wedding, and who we should include in our wedding parties, but ultimately, these decisions are up to us.

    People love to plan ahead
    I quickly realised how early couples book EVERYTHING from their venue to their photographer and hair stylist. Our wedding is still more than 11 months away, but many of the vendors I’ve contacted are already booked up for our big day. Fortunately, we’ve secured our dream photographer (which was the biggest priority for me, personally) so that’s helping me breathe a little easier.

    I thought I was a bit crazy trying on dresses more than year out, but the shop gals told me it was pretty standard to start getting a feel for styles around the year mark and to order eight months out.

    It’s just one day
    We’ve been together for more than nine years and our wedding, as exciting as it will be, is just a small chapter in our journey together. As cliché as it sounds, I’m incredibly excited I’ve met the man of my dreams and proud of the life we have together. I sometimes feel indifferent towards it all because I know what we’ve built is real and tangible. Our love has spanned continents, time zones and immigration nightmares. Our wedding is about spending time with our loved ones and getting everyone together — not about archaic ownership laws (let’s just say traditional vows sound downright oppressive to me…)

    The planning part shouldn’t be too overwhelming or stressful, it’s a party after all! So, make the most of it and enjoy a glass or two of champagne along the way.

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  • Love Poem

    Love Poem

    When someone close to me dies, I’m shortly thereafter reminded of the circle of life.

    Following my grandfather’s recent passing, I vividly recall an influx of infants and young children swarming the Toronto Pearson Airport. Again, while spending a string of days and nights at my grandmother’s house, I played with a lovely little boy who innocently reminded me that when one spectacular life ends, another begins.

    The moment that touched me most profoundly occurred shortly after I arrived at my grandparents’ home. While funeral preparations were being made, I received a beautiful message from Kirsten, my close friend and bride-to-be. She asked me to read a poem at her upcoming nuptials to Steven. My eyes filled with tears and I felt a deep sense of appreciation and obligation during a time that was otherwise characterized by helplessness.

    Kirsten and Steve were married on Saturday, September 7th in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. I would like to share with you the poem I read during their incredible ceremony.

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    I have this theory that before two people are united in marriage, they should: live together, spend some time apart, and most importantly, travel together. Steven and Kirsten truly epitomize this statement having moved all the way to New Zealand and in the process, setting the perfect example of what a relationship should be. I have known Kirsten since grade school, but witnessing her navigate the foreign land of New Zealand with Steve was an eye-opening experience. During our summer road trips, my younger sister, Natalie enderingly referred to them as mom and dad as we sat in the back of the station wagon, listening attentively to Steve’s life advice on everything from managing our finances, travelling the world on a shoestring, and deciding one’s profession. We all joked that this was their pre-marriage, trial period.

    I am honoured to be here today with all of Steve and Kirsten’s cherished family members and friends. I would like to share a poem that I discovered in Wellington, where the couple resided during their overseas travels and dedicate it to their New Zealand friends and flatmates who could not join us today, but who are such a large part of their journey together:

    Love Poem – Cameron Hockly

    There is nothing timid or meandering about my love for you,
    it does not head to the shop
    for a bottle of milk and a newspaper
    only to find itself in town,
    browsing at umbrellas and suit jackets.
    Although it does notice camellia trees,
    the recently pruned climbing roses.

    My love for you is not a walk in the park,
    although we may, in love, walk in the park.
    This love I have for you
    is not off the cuff, or impromptu,
    which is not to say that my love for you is rehearsal
    and performance.

    Nothing about it is calculated or expected,
    it was not written in the sky
    or the sandy fields by the beach,
    if it was written anywhere,
    it would be on the pathway
    next to the pool,
    between our bodies,
    as we lie there, drying.
    Dipping out fingers in the water
    and leaving wet notes for each other.
    Chlorine in our hair.
    Skin baking on the concrete.
    Almost warm enough to get back in.