prairie girl musings

Author: prairiegirlmusings

10 Christchurch Cafés Worth Checking Out

I’m all about a quality café. Having worked remotely for much of my career, I’m constantly on the hunt for cafés that fit the following criteria:

The coffee needs to be good.
There needs to be a decent food offering.
They need to be okay with me staying a while (and likely taking a photo or two…)
If there’s wifi, even better.

Not so hard, is it? Fortunately, Christchurch has had an influx of new cafés as of late. There are cafés to suit all aesthetics, whether you like something cosy and intimate or spacious and light-filled, I’ve got your back. Read on and I’ll cover my top 10 cafés worth visiting.

Miro
176 Oxford Terrace, The Midland Building
I won’t go into too much detail about Miro because you can read my first impressions here. Let’s just say it fits all the above criteria and it’s in a prime location in the beautiful Midland Building.

Photo by Nancy Zhou

Photo by Sophie Isabella

The Origin
95 Westminster Street, St. Albans
If you’re after a space that’s a bit more open and light-filled, head to The Origin in St. Albans. This mostly plant-based, vegetarian café has free wifi (score) and excellent coffee. The space itself is stunning, mostly white with lots of plants and the comfiest chairs.

West End Stories
93 Cambridge Terrace, Christchurch Central
Another beautiful café in the central city, West End Stories has a delicious menu and free wifi to boot. In particular, I’m in love with their pumpkin fritters and poached eggs.

Uncommon
262 Tuam St, Christchurch Central
Uncommon Café on Tuam Street has one of the best menus in the city. Their coffee is C4 and their dishes are always changing. I’m a fan of their hotcakes, which are big enough to feed two, but I usually devour on my own. I also like how close it is to our flat — super convenient for Sunday morning brekkie.

The Anchorage
4 Walker Street, Christchurch Central
Another spot for free wifi and quality brews, The Anchorage is a roastery, café and communal workspace. The coffee menu is the key focus here and it’s ever-changing. They also have simple menu made up of local suppliers, Cakes by Anna, Bellbird and Grizzly Bagel.

Grain
19 Southwark Street, Christchurch Central
Again, I’ve written about Grain in the past, but it’s one of my favourite cafés for many reasons including its expertly poured Allpress coffee, its minimalist interior and healthy menu. The grain bowls are my lunchtime go-to and I highly recommend trying their warm vegan bowl.

Mediterranean Food Company
322 Tuam Street, Christchurch Central
Part grocery store, part café, part restaurant, Mediterranean Food Co. may not exactly quality as a café, but they do serve coffee and the best Mediterranean food in the city. The pizzas are divine, Aperol Spritzes (which originate in Italy) are impeccable and you can have a cappuccino or gelato to top it all off. Oh, and they have instagrammable marble tables, perfect to fit that Instagram aesthetic you’re after.

Ten27
1027 Ferry Road, Ferrymead
Located a bit further afield is Ten27, another spacious café with an extensive breakfast and lunch menu. I haven’t tried very much off their menu, but loved the honeycomb pancakes pictured below. They were absolutely divine. Oh, and there’s free wifi.

Coffee Embassy
107 Fitzgerald Ave, Christchurch Central
Previously Lumes, Coffee Embassy is my local. It’s only about three blocks from my flat and I love sitting outside while sipping my morning coffee. The café and roastery has a surprisingly delicious menu as well, not relying solely on excellent brews. I recommend the avocado toast.

Park Ranger
114 Riccarton Rd, Riccarton, Christchurch
Last but certainly not least, Park Ranger is my favourite café in Riccarton. It’s constantly teeming on the weekends, filled with locals and those leaving the Christchurch Farmers Market in need of an extra hit of coffee. The açai bowl is a refreshing option or try the Goodness Bowl, filled with all those healthy greens and balanced with halloumi and a poached egg for good measure.

Are you a frequent café-goer, too? If so, let me know your favourite spots in the comments below.

May 29, 2018
Autumn Florals

Throughout the first few years of my career, I wore mostly black. I still mostly reach for neutral items for their wearability and longevity, but every so often I’m drawn to something printed. This floral Olivia dress by RUBY is one such item. Ever since I saw it in store, I knew it would fit right in with my wardrobe. It’s 100% silk, floor-length and falls perfectly to the floor. I love dressing it down with heeled boots (the ones pictured are from Mi Piaci) and my army green coat, especially as we enter the cooler months here in New Zealand. It’s also beautiful worn underneath a leather jacket. And I know it’ll be equally perfect for spring weddings paired with neutral heels or sandals. I don’t know about you, but I’m not about buying pieces that only last a season, I want clothes I’ll wear for years to come.

Are you more of a statement shopper or do you opt for blacks, greys and other neutrals?

Photography by Sophie Isabella

May 24, 2018
8 Ways To Grow Your Online Following

Excuse the click-bait title, but I really wanted to share my tips and tricks for building an online audience. None of these recommendations involve cheating the system, so if you’re after quick fixes, please look elsewhere.

Full disclosure: My online following was seriously stunted after I moved to Christchurch. When I left Toronto, my audience was growing pretty steadily, I was taking on some exciting opportunities and almost felt ready to work for myself full-time. Moving halfway around the world has meant a few steps backwards in my career. That said, I know numbers and followers aren’t everything (and can be deceiving), and there are many benefits to establishing an audience (basically) from scratch. In the process of trying to rebuild my following while staying true to my existing audience, I picked up a few tips that I want to share with those of you who might be in the same boat.

Why are you online in the first place?
My first piece of advice, if you’re feeling like you’re not growing or getting the engagement you’d like, is to step back and consider what you’re actually trying to achieve. If it’s just followers, you’re in it for the wrong reasons. Think about the reasons you started. Maybe it was a creative escape or to offer advice on a topic you’re passionate about… When you’re focused on why you’re online in the first place, you’ll stop focusing on the numbers.

Build a connection
Rather than working to build a following, work to build relationships and form connections within your community. I’ve heard many content creators talk about “going deep, not wide,” and this couldn’t be more true! If you’re able to impact one person in a positive way, you’re doing your job. When I wrote about my anxiety, I received a couple emails from you guys telling me about your own experiences. Being able to relate to others (even from afar) is the reason I started this blog in the first place.

Share the difficult stuff
I’ve talked about this before, but social media shouldn’t just be a highlight reel of your greatest experiences and achievements. Keeping it real and sharing ‘behind-the-scenes’ makes you relatable, even if it’s in the form of Instagram stories. I’m all about sharing beautiful, aesthetically-pleasing Instagram shots, but I always try to write honest captions that reflect what I’m actually going through.

Collaborate with other creators
I love working with local photographers, writers and creatives. Part of the reason I wanted to share our wedding planning journey on here was to highlight the AMAZING local vendors here in Christchurch. Support and cheer each other on, there’s enough work (and space) for all of us. There’s so much to learn from others in your industry.

Switch it up
If you’re finding your content is falling flat, try switching it up. Maybe you started your blog with the intention of sharing only city guides, but they are no longer resonating with your audience. Don’t be afraid to veer away from your core topic to talk about your home renovation project. If people are following you, it’s likely they are interested in you and your story not just because they want travel tips.

Use Instagram stories
I love Instagram stories because I can share the messy, behind-the-scenes stuff that would never make it onto my feed. Consistency is key when building a brand, but on Instagram stories, you’re allowed to be a bit all over the place and talk about subjects that don’t usually make it on to your feed.

Attend events
We’re all guilty of spending too much time on our phones and laptops… I encourage you to get out, attend industry events and form human connections. I’ve met some of my closest friends at fashion and blogging events. Forming relationships with other bloggers is also key to growing your audience and getting approached about future projects.

Don’t put all your eggs in one (Instagram) basket
Use social media to drive traffic to something you own (aka your blog). We’re all at the whim of the next Instagram algorithm change, so that account you’ve grown and those followers you’ve amassed aren’t really yours. Instagram could get shut down tomorrow or we could all move on to the next platform. It’s important to have your own online space that you’ve built yourself.

Another thing to consider if you’re stressing about your numbers is to focus more on your skills and offering. Are you a copywriter, a photographer or a digital marketer? Those are tangible skills that people are more likely willing to pay for. Don’t rely on your ‘influence’ too much. Continue challenging yourself by taking on new projects and adding value wherever you can.

*

While it’s taken me a long time to establish myself here in Christchurch, I am finally starting to see better engagement. More importantly, I’ve learnt so much working in-house at creative agencies and developed incredible relationships with local brands. While I think there have been a few setbacks, I do still believe moving around and travelling is super beneficial in the long-run. Not only does it enable you to expand your reach across continents, you’ll build better relationships and understand what works in different countries.

If you’re a fellow content creator, let me know what’s worked for you.

May 22, 2018
What I Need To Stop Doing Before I Turn Thirty…
I hate to admit it, but I’m a people pleaser.

With my thirtieth birthday looming, I’m taking stock of all my habits, behaviours and characteristics. There’s nothing like leaving your twenties behind to force you to reflect on your life up till this point, the good, the bad, the ugly…

You decide, I’m fine with whatever. This has been my go-to mantra for most of my adult life. I often find myself managing the needs of others and worrying about how they’re feeling, meanwhile forgetting to check in with myself.

That is, until I completely lose it and have an outburst of sorts.

In general, I think people pleasing is pretty common. After all, we’re all taught not to complain too much, to be polite, and to be fun to be around. What starts out harmless enough (I mean, where would we be without common courtesies and human decency?) can end up turning into bitterness and resentment.

While managing the expectations and anticipating the needs of others, I’m realising how exhausted I am and that I’m not actually living my life to the fullest. I know it’s rooted in fear; the fear of how my choices might impact or inconvenience others. But relying on others to make the big calls will affect your relationship with that person (and ultimately with yourself). It’s detrimental to those around you. While they may initially benefit from you being accommodating, they may also feel the weight of making all the decisions.

Do you find yourself doing one or more of the following?
- Saying yes to everything, even when you don’t have time or don’t want to do something
- Changing or shifting your plans (especially last minute) to suit others
- Holding back when asked for feedback or an honest opinion
- Allowing other people to talk down to you or to question your judgment
- Always letting the other person command the conversation
If so, you may be suffering from similar people pleasing behaviour.

So, how do we deal with our people pleasing tendencies? Well, I’m still figuring it out and probably won’t have it figured out by the time I turn thirty. But to start, I’m now making room for the goals I’ve long pushed aside; the ones I keep telling myself I’ll get around to one day. If that comes across as selfish, I’m okay with that. After all, it’s okay to dedicate time to our own dreams.

Photography by Sophie Isabella.
May 16, 2018
Pros and Cons of Living in New Zealand

I conducted a poll on my Instagram stories asking if you’d be interested in hearing my pros and cons of living in New Zealand. It turns out, quite a few of you are intrigued, so here we are.

For those of you who are just tuning in, here’s a quick rundown: I studied in Auckland for three years before moving to Toronto for another three. I’ve now lived in Christchurch for just over two and a half years. I’ve talked (and raved) about my life in New Zealand before on this blog, but have never talked about the drawbacks. Every country has flaws and I think it would be irresponsible of me not to acknowledge New Zealand’s shortcomings. New Zealand is consistently ranked as one of the top ten countries in the world and scores highly on social progress indexes, so keep that in mind while reading the following. While this does err on the slightly political side, it’s not my intention to persuade anyone of my views. I’m only striving to give a truthful and personal overview of my experience as a New Zealand resident.

CONS

Driving and urban planning
The road rules in New Zealand are archaic and favour the motorist instead of pedestrians and cyclists. We had a friend visiting from Toronto and he remarked that a woman had given him the finger when he was crossing the street (she was turning left…) This aggression and car-centric mentality has serious consequences to the built urban environment, making it way less safe and vibrant. If you’ve ever wondered why you don’t see people out roaming the streets and walking from restaurant to bar, etc., well… maybe look at your road rules and driver training programmes.

Poor insulation
It can get pretty damp and dreary in the North Island and frosty in the South Island, yet New Zealand homes aren’t equipped with central heating. Some don’t even have double glazing, which is a huge health concern in the winter months. Having a warm, dry home should be a basic human right.

Social issues
New Zealand has some of the highest rates of child poverty in the developed world. It breaks my heart to hear about families and young children living in their cars and going to school without lunch. The youth suicide rates are also alarmingly high as are family abuse statistics.. Many local organisations and programmes have been put in place to alleviate some of these issues and it’s a top priority for the new government.

Intensive dairy farming
For a nation that prides itself on being ‘100% pure, clean and green’ New Zealand’s agricultural practices are pretty lousy. The intensive dairy farming is taking a major toll on the environment and many of our lakes, rivers and streams are completely polluted and not fit for swimming.

Remoteness
It’s not often talked about just how remote New Zealand is… It is basically a four hour plane ride to the nearest country, which makes going somewhere culturally different for a long weekend or even a week a virtual non-starter and immediately expensive. This can mean a quite limited world view, which brings me to my next point…

Complacency
While I love the relaxed, ‘she’ll be right’ attitude displayed by Kiwis, it does irk me that those who constructively critique New Zealand are often harshly scrutinised. Who remembers when Taika Waititi said he wasn’t proud to be Kiwi (because of high suicide rates, polluted waterways and racism) and was immediately labelled ‘treasonous’ by Duncan Garner? Every nation has issues, racism exists in every country. Shouldn’t we be impressed by Taika for having the courage to tell the truth while actively trying to make New Zealand a better place? It’s the only way to move forward.

PROS

Progressive national government
It’s refreshing to see young, forward-thinking and progressive Jacinda Ardern take charge as New Zealand’s new prime minister. For a nation of under five million, she is ambitious about what New Zealand can achieve on a world stage and is serious about climate change. She’s also expecting her first child in a month, proving you can be a mum and create a better future for New Zealand at the same time. Maybe we’ll get back to that clean, green, truly egalitarian image the world has of New Zealand…

Never far from the sea
Having grown up near plenty of lakes, but nowhere near the sea, I love being so close to the ocean in New Zealand. I think it keeps Kiwis humble and grounded, being constantly connected to nature. No matter where you go, you’re never more than 80 miles from the sea. Pretty amazing, right?

Ongoing efforts to protect Maori culture
The indigenous people of New Zealand arrived more than 1,000 years ago from Polynesia and make up 15% of the population. The country is continuously trying to right past wrongdoings from land ownership rights to language revitalisation and preservation of cultural traditions. Maori and Polynesian culture is everywhere you look, truly embedded into New Zealand culture, from the haka at the start of every All Blacks game to the way people greet one another. As a Canadian, I find this truly special and remarkable.

Café culture
Since the 17th century, cafés have played an important role in the enrichment of the world’s most cosmopolitan cities. They act as the third place for urban dwellers, a home away from home and a daily ritual. If you follow me on Instagram, you understand my obsession with the café scene here in New Zealand. Even small roadside cafes and tiny rural towns seem to pump out quality flat whites at record speed… (maybe it’s the milk industrial complex?) There’s also the abundance of quality food available alongside the coffee. In Canada, it’s quite common to encounter ‘specialty cafés’ that have no real menu apart from soup and sandwiches, but in New Zealand, even the smallest cafés offer a full breakfast and lunch menus.

…And then there’s the wine
New Zealand has some of the best wine in the world. There’s an abundance of incredible wine in New Zealand, both in the North and South Islands. In fact, North Canterbury is one of my favourite wine regions in the world. It’s incredible to see such small regions producing organic, biodynamic wines that are some of the best in the world.

Affordable domestic travel
While New Zealand is super remote, domestic travel is increasingly affordable. Internal flights are cheap and distances between cities and even islands are manageable. This means many Kiwis have the opportunity to explore their beautiful backyard, visit friends in different cities and even move from city to city quite seamlessly.

Oh and New Zealand has a fantastic airline.

Conscious consumption
Kiwis are generally less materialistic and image conscious than people in other countries. People aren’t judged on the way they look rather on the merit of their ideas. That said, New Zealand consumers are generally well-informed and attempt to buy from sustainable and ethical brands whenever possible. There’s an awareness and urgency to ban single-use plastic and disposable coffee cups, which I find is commendable.

Preservation of native birds and wildlife
New Zealand’s flora and fauna differs from every other large land-mass on earth due to its long isolation and uniqueness as a (near) mammal-free environment. And it’s remarkable the lengths New Zealand has gone to protect its native birds and wildlife. If you’ve ever been to Zealandia or any of the other eco-sanctuaries around the country, you’ll appreciate the research and conservation efforts that have gone into protecting and restoring the native wildlife destroyed by humans and mammals.

So, there you have it. A pretty straightforward list of pros and cons of living in New Zealand. As I mentioned, I wanted to create a list that was honest and informative for those who know very little about New Zealand. If you’re planning on visiting, know that New Zealanders are some of the friendliest and helpful people you’ll ever meet and will make you feel right at home.

May 13, 2018
Q&A: What Exactly Does A Wedding Stylist Do?

I sat down with Hayley Harding of Hayley and Co. to discuss all things styling. Hayley and Co. offer bespoke styling and design for any occasion, everything from weddings to retail brand launches. After attending an incredible store opening Hayley styled, I knew we needed her help creating the vision for our wedding. Not only is she brimming with ideas, she’s refreshingly approachable and super realistic when it comes to things like budget and priorities. It’s all too easy for me to get carried away, but Hayley asks all the right questions, has all the best contacts and keeps me on track while helping define the mood for our day.

For those of who you are maybe are less familiar with the concept of event styling and design (I know I was…) I wanted to run through a few questions I had before my initial meeting with Hayley.

Images by Joseph Willis via Hayley and Co.

What exactly does a wedding stylist do?
Essentially a stylist’s role is to manage all the aesthetic elements of your wedding or event and bring them seamlessly together on the day. We listen to your personal vision for the day and make this a reality through a design concept which shows how everything will come together on the day. We cover all the details from flowers, lighting and decorations through to your place cards, menus and furniture. We source and manage everything needed to bring the concept to life. We are then there to set everything up for you on the day, leaving you (and your family) to relax and enjoy your big day.

When does the styling process begin? When do you usually meet with couples-to-be?
I like to first meet with my clients 9-12 months out from their big day — around the same time or just after they’ve secured their venue. Any earlier makes it difficult to pin down ideas and the overall vision.

On the other hand I have a number of current clients who have just booked and their weddings are six months away. Once a client has booked in my services, I then ask them to gather a handful of images that they love and tell me why they love them. The images don’t have to relate but it’s a great starting point to see what ‘look and feel’ they are going for. We will talk about budget at this point as well.

What are some styling tips you can share with us?
To me, a wedding (or event) should reflect the client and their personalities. I love to weave a couple’s personal touches throughout an event.

How do you reconcile Pinterest dreams with reality?
Pinterest is a great source of inspiration and a really helpful tool for both stylists and clients. I encourage my clients to not only pin wedding images but also pin images that ‘speak’ to them. These images tell me a lot about the couples style and the things they like.

Images by Susannah Blatchford via Hayley and Co.

You obviously have an elegant, beautiful signature style, what if a bride’s style doesn’t match (or even clashes with) your overall design ethos? Have you ever broken your own rules?
Just as all professionals have different aesthetics, specialities and skills, so do stylists. Therefore it’s important to find a stylist who shares your vision, knows how to make it happen and can work within your budget.

Clients generally come to me as they like my style, but if I felt I was not the right fit for a couple then I would happily suggest an alternative option for them.

What are some wedding trends you want to see more of?
I would love to see more clients experimenting more with lighting.

Do you have a designer or stylist you look up to? Who’s your greatest source of inspiration?
I love to see what other stylists are doing – especially overseas. However I get most of my inspiration from interior designers as I love to play with different textures.

Well, there you have it.

Whether you have no idea where to begin or have a few ideas but are unsure how to execute them, an event stylist can help you put your plans in motion. From the overall vision to the nitty gritty details, Hayley has been an absolute joy to work with. It puts my mind at ease knowing she’s got my back whenever I get slightly carried away and I always leave our catch ups feeling inspired and excited. If you want to see some more examples of Hayley and Co.’s work, visit her website or Instagram account. Believe me, you’ll be scrolling for awhile.

Images by Danelle Bohane via Hayley and Co.

May 5, 2018
Miro in the Midland Building

The Brown Bread team has been eagerly awaiting the arrival of the downstairs café in our building (Midland Building). Helmed by the folk behind Francesca’s Italian Kitchen (in both Wanaka and Christchurch), Miro is serving up an extensive menu of breakfast, brunch and lunch favourites. Whether you prefer sweet or savoury, filling or light, Miro has got your back. Think ricotta hotcakes, breakfast panna cotta, eggs benedict, croque madame and huevos rancheros. They’ve also got matcha smoothies and açai bowls galore in addition to breakfast cocktails like Bloody Marys and mimosas. Their coffee is Allpress, which means we no longer need to leave the office for our morning brew.

When we visit, we sampled a good selection of the menu, the buffalo panna cotta with with citrus granola and seasonal fruit, ricotta pancakes, savoury waffles, the breakfast board consisting of granola, coconut yogurt, dippy eggs with soldiers, a croissant from Le Panier and freshly squeezed orange juice — delightful! Everything is fresh and tasty

For lunch, expect a range of large and small plates. I’ve got my eye on the salmon fillet, wagyu burger and patatas bravas. Oh, and there’s affogatos for dessert. Yes, please!

While the menu is delicious, the space is where Miro truly shines. The beautiful restored café remains true to its original style and I feel like I’ve stepped back in time. Simultaneously relaxing and lively, the café is filled with plants and greenery. With two roaring fires, this is a spot where you’ll want to settle in for the colder months. There are plans in the works to have outdoor seating overlooking the Avon River.

The team will eventually open for dinner, but for now they are open from 8AM to 3PM.
Follow them on Facebook and Instagram for daily updates and to browse the menus.

Look for the terracotta building (the former Caffe Roma building for you Christchurch locals).

April 30, 2018
How We Chose Our Wedding Venue

Choosing your wedding venue is not an easy decision — at least it wasn’t for us. We originally anticipated having our wedding in Canada, close to where I grew up, before figuring out how much easier it’d be to plan if we had it in New Zealand.

After establishing the country where we’d have our nuptials, we set out to find an appropriate venue. We wanted to make sure our big day reflected us as a couple, so we narrowed our options down to two locations: Christchurch and Akaroa. Christchurch because it’s where we’re based and Akaroa because it’s more of a destination spot that still holds a lot of importance to us. Not only is it where we got engaged but it’s where we spend many weekends, including our birthdays and anniversaries.

We tentatively booked a beautiful venue in Akaroa, but later changed our minds. I felt guilty going back on my decision, but fortunately we hadn’t made a deposit. We both liked but didn’t LOVE the venue. The views were next level, but there were a few elements that weren’t quite ‘us’. We both could’ve lived with these drawbacks had the price not been so steep. If you’re in a similar position, think carefully about your priorities. We ended up going back to the drawing board, this time looking at venues right in Christchurch.

As much as we wanted a destination with dramatic views and breathtaking landscapes, Nick and I are city people at heart. We live and work in the CBD and cycling is our primary means of transportation. It felt like a bit of a contradiction to get married outside the city and make our guests drive 1.5 hours to get to our wedding. I know that probably sounds absurd to most people, but we’re huge advocates for the rebuild and the prosperity of the city. We wanted to support our local vendors who make Christchurch such an attractive place to live. Plus, we had a sneaky desire to cycle to our wedding (or at least give our guests the option).

So, where to start in Christchurch? There are actually several incredible venues right in the heart of the city. We tossed up between Christchurch Art Gallery, The Great Hall and the Centre of Contemporary Art… all three are absolutely stunning options that would fit us perfectly. We then considered a few more historic options. Christchurch’s architecture is such an interesting mix of old and new and we realized how special it would be to get married in a heritage building as they are few and far between.

This is what led us to Local at Riccarton House & Bush. Dean’s Cottage is the oldest building in Canterbury and the thought of getting married in the bush felt pretty special. We hadn’t really considered Riccarton House as a venue despite being regulars at the Christchurch Farmers Market every Saturday. After undergoing renovations following the earthquakes, it’s looking as spiffy as ever. It’s also very spacious with excellent indoor-outdoor flow, and we like the idea of having options for different parts of the day.

So, we planned our visit and were blown away by the historic homestead. I don’t want to give too much away before our big day, but I’m looking forward to getting ready upstairs with my girls and walking down the beautiful old staircase before saying our vows amongst some of the oldest trees in the region, and dancing the night away.

There’s a lot of pressure attached to choosing a wedding venue. It’s usually the first big decision you make after getting engaged. It can be all too easy to blow your budget on an incredible venue (believe me, we almost did…) I urge you to think outside the box, look at restaurants, art galleries, gardens and halls. Friends of ours got married in a modest school hall and it was gorgeous!

New Zealand is a wedding destination, many couples travel from all over the world to get married here. The venues available to us throughout the country can feel infinite, even overwhelming. If you choose a venue that reflects your relationship and identity, you’ve set the tone for your big day.

All imagery by Jillian Miller Photography.

This post was written in partnership with Local at Riccarton House & Bush, but all opinions are my own.

April 22, 2018
Why I Haven’t Been Updating My Blog

One of my New Year resolutions was to consistently update my blog, to share two or three posts per week. As you know, that’s not exactly what’s been happening…

I recently shared an Instagram post about feeling uninspired and a bit blue. I’m not sure where it’s stemmed from, but I’ve been experiencing high levels of anxiety about my work. I know it’s part of the creative process to doubt and second-guess yourself. This has been true for me for as long as I can remember.

Lately, whenever I sit down to an empty page or screen, I feel anxious and overwhelmed, unable to write truthfully and share valuable content. With a captive audience comes additional responsibility, to be honest and authentic. It’s much easier to share a photo of brunch or a beautiful dress than it is to talk about our shortcomings and issues, but we’ve all got them. For a very long time, I assumed that nobody wanted to hear about the real stuff. I’ve since learnt that we’re not able to truly connect with others unless we’re allowed to be our vulnerable, imperfect selves. We’ve all got hang ups and things we’re ashamed of, but that’s what make us human.

If you’re going through something similar, whether it’s personal or work-related, I’ve jotted down a few things that have helped me deal with my anxiety and decision paralysis:

Talk to someone
Whether it’s your partner or a close friend, it really helps to talk through your negative thoughts.

Be gentle with yourself
I’ve written about this before, but we all need to be kinder to ourselves. If you have a tendency to talk down to yourself, stop and think, is this how I’d treat a child or a friend who’s unwell?

Is it worth it?
Is whatever you’re stressing about actually worth it? I’ve had a panic attack or two whilst on a boat. As much as I love sailing with Nick, I now know that if the waters are choppy, I need to be on shore.

Don’t put on a front to impress others
People often call me adaptable, which I used to think was a good thing. Being too flexible means that I’m constantly moulding myself to fit everyone else’s expectations. Not everyone is going to like you and not everyone is going to see the ways you add value. That’s okay.

You’re not the only one experiencing anxiety
Many people experience anxiety in all its shapes and forms. Reminding ourselves of that makes us feel less alone.

So, how am I going to move forward (with this blog and my life)?
Firstly, thank you for putting up with my inconsistent posting. I understand this is a job and keeping you guys in loop is part of that. I’ve given myself a few weeks of haphazard posting, but enough is enough. I spent most of Friday plotting out content calendars and re-evaluating where I want my content to go. Basically, I want to ensure it’s of value to you guys. So, please comment below and tell me what you want to read about.

I’ll continue sharing the exciting, wonderful parts (because most of us read blogs to get inspired, right?) But, I’m going to start sharing some of the more difficult parts as well.

As always, thanks for reading. x

Photo by Jillian Miller Photography

April 14, 2018
What I’ve Learned (So Far) Planning A Wedding

After celebrating our engagement with family and friends, Nick and I are now in the early stages of wedding planning. We’ve set a date and chosen a location (which in itself has been a mission!) The journey so far has been a rollercoaster and we’ve already picked up a few tips that I thought might be useful for those of you who are dreaming up your big day or maybe just a little curious about it all…

Start with your budget
The obvious place to start, to my dismay, isn’t Pinterest or Instagram (although I did spend a good day or two combing through pages and pages of bridal magazines)… Start with a good old Excel spreadsheet and plot out how much you anticipate to spend on every little detail from the flowers to your dress and the venue and catering.

Wedding tax is real
Everything costs more than you’d expect, especially if you’re planning to opt for a more traditional wedding. The wedding industry is a multi-billion dollar industry (one that’s finally being disrupted thanks to millennials, but more on that later…) Prices for your big day will be inflated. I’ve heard from several people to avoid using the word, “wedding” at all costs. From the catering to the venue, I had NO idea how much everything would cost and it definitely makes me cry a little.

On the other hand…
I get it. There’s infinitely more pressure attached to being part of someone’s big day and I can understand why vendors need to charge more. How you design your wedding is completely up to you, and that’s quite exhilarating. I’ve known people who’ve tied the knot at their favourite, unpretentious Toronto diner with 25 guests and others who’ve gone to their local courthouse to make things official. Both are incredibly romantic ways of declaring your love.

It’s been an emotional time
I’d always envisioned planning my wedding alongside my parents and my sisters. Being so far from home and deciding on the important details of my big day has been challenging. I’ve experienced a lot of guilt since deciding to have my wedding in New Zealand, knowing that not all the important people in my life will be able to come… It’s also been hard not being able to celebrate important milestones with my mom and sisters. I was able to go dress shopping with my younger sister when we were in Sydney together, and that meant the world to me.

Let’s not play the comparison game
I’ve been to a lot of weddings. I come from a big family with a penchant for huge Ukrainian weddings. While I’m looking forward to incorporating key elements of my heritage into my big day, our wedding is about us as a couple. We’ve decided to plan a wedding that suits us. Our families have kindly shared their thoughts and advice on who to invite, where and when to have the wedding, and who we should include in our wedding parties, but ultimately, these decisions are up to us.

People love to plan ahead
I quickly realised how early couples book EVERYTHING from their venue to their photographer and hair stylist. Our wedding is still more than 11 months away, but many of the vendors I’ve contacted are already booked up for our big day. Fortunately, we’ve secured our dream photographer (which was the biggest priority for me, personally) so that’s helping me breathe a little easier.

I thought I was a bit crazy trying on dresses more than year out, but the shop gals told me it was pretty standard to start getting a feel for styles around the year mark and to order eight months out.

It’s just one day
We’ve been together for more than nine years and our wedding, as exciting as it will be, is just a small chapter in our journey together. As cliché as it sounds, I’m incredibly excited I’ve met the man of my dreams and proud of the life we have together. I sometimes feel indifferent towards it all because I know what we’ve built is real and tangible. Our love has spanned continents, time zones and immigration nightmares. Our wedding is about spending time with our loved ones and getting everyone together — not about archaic ownership laws (let’s just say traditional vows sound downright oppressive to me…)

The planning part shouldn’t be too overwhelming or stressful, it’s a party after all! So, make the most of it and enjoy a glass or two of champagne along the way.

April 8, 2018